Friday, February 26, 2010

The Story of the Bros: A Coontastic Post.

Starting from their humble beginnings as ni**as attending the University of Pennsylvania (who, might I add, didn't even really know each other), the Bros formed in 2009 to create the best blog to ever mention titties and Rosa parks in the same sentence.

It wasn't all bad bitches, rainbows and gumdrops, however, as the humble bloggers had to first learn to connect with each other (no homo) before bringing the product of their collective madness to market. Here is their story as told by one of the bros.

Nappyheaded Bro: I never really knew Bro # 1, but I never really liked him. It sounds kind of unfair, as I never really knew anything about him other than that he hung with some girl who had a ginormous rack & and that he was always wearing a Mets jersey and Kangol. Quite frankly, I thought he was a cornball. Maybe it was the fact that he wore glasses and I always thought of people with glasses as corny. Perhaps it was even the fact that he was under the age of 40 and was wearing a Kangol. That Didn't really sit right with me. I was still wearing throwback Jerseys and 200 dollar Jordans.

Nappyheaded Bro: I don't know about Bro # 3 man...he was always wearing flashy shit and a million golds chains clanking together in obnoxious fashion. I believe he even had a gold grill at one point. I couldn't quit get a read on him...was he from the hood? Or was he just trying really too hard? Either way he seemed a little shady...kinda like the Jamaican dudes at school or the Brooklyn cats. He was always dating the security guards and shit...I was like really? Ivy league University and you're smashing the Spectraguards? I remember one time he had one at a party in uniform. I thought we were getting raided. Lol.

Nappyheaded Bro: I used to rock (no homo) with Bro # 2's roommate since he was from my hometown. Every time I visited him though, the dude was never there, but Bro # 2 was always hanging around doing everything but studying. In waiting for my man (pause) to come back, I would always kick it with Bro #2...drinkin 40's, clowning on chicks...typical freshman ni**a shit. He seemed like a cool cat. I couldn't tell if he was racist tho...he was living in self-segregation town aka the "Black" dorm, was light skinned-ed and I had never seen him with a white girl...back then, of course.

Nappyheaded Bro: Nappyheaded bros #1 and #3 were complete opposites but I hung with them both mainly because we could talk music. Both those ni**as were opinionated and regardless of whether they chose to admit it, they were both hip hop heads. I remember one time my nappyheaded bro was performing at some sort of bohemian Arts Cafe show...only he brought a squad of West Philly hooligans with him. LOL. They got their mics cut off mid sentence after cursing more than Tiger wood's wife during the golf club episode and basically being too black for the University of Penn's Campus. All I remember is chairs, and mics flying, the lights being cut off and everyone running. A window was broken and when cops came, all the non-students were gone. My Nappyheaded bro responded with an emphatic "I ain't see nothing", a supporter of the stop snitching movement since 2001. Gotta respect a man like that.

Despite all of our various shortcomings, few would doubt the fact that we make a good team. In all honesty, is the brainchild of myself, Show-sho No homo. I could never do it, however, without the help of my brethren and partners in crime. I actually recruited Wja3 and C4 based on the fact that they were the funniest people I knew. Actually, I never even knew WJA3 was funny (other than in his tastes in Tribe called Quest Music..LOL) until I read a facebook post he wrote. This was the original post which inspired me to blog back in the summer of 2009.

48 comments later and a facebook following gained, my boy had laid the foundation for a whirlwind of opinionated and educated ignorance. Thanks Wja3.

WJA3's Thoughts on Black Hair

I really don't know what prompted me to write this, but its a long time coming. If you're offended, then you're probably part of the problem.

1) Women, we don't need for you to point out every other woman with a weave. Most of us men are observant enough to know if a woman has a weave or not at our age (Mid 20s and later). It's gotten pretty easy. If the hair is way past the shoulders, its most likely a weave. We know all of y'all ladies don't have Navajo in your family.

2) Just because you have natural hair, it don't make you any better than a woman with processed hair. There's only 2 types of hair, nice hair and ugly hair. I've seen women with natural hair think just because they have natural hair, they could get away with anything and try to carve a Ferris wheel in their 'fro or some nonsense.

Show: Damn Oprah!

3) Maybe I'm just speaking for myself here, but hair is mainly just a disqualifier, not a qualifier. No man is turning down Beyonce just because she took out her weave. If I meet a nice looking woman who isn't crazy, it doesn't matter to me if she has a perm or dreads. However, if I meet a nice looking woman, but she has the ferris wheel hairdo previously mentioned, I'm going to assume she's crazy even if she doesn't immediately showcase crazy qualities. The same goes for a woman with camel hair going all the way to her butt.

4) Women with natural hair, please stop going out of your way to compliment other women with natural hair. We see right through that.

5) Your hair style doesn't make you any more or any less black. An afro is not a satellite dish that makes it easier for the spirits of Africa to look down upon you.

In conclusion, its just hair. Sure, what you do with it can be a statement of individuality, but a statement can only go so far without acts to back that statement....and men don't give a damn either way.


--The BL-O.G., Blogface killah and Blog Ness Monsta.


Anonymous said...


Akira said...

agreed. Not as bad as the tat of your friends faces as a national monument. Nothing will top that.

Please dont do that.

khaki said...

Awwww man U-Penn :( bad memories.

Anyway- love the post about hair LOL

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