Monday, February 8, 2010

Rap Beef Pt. 2: DEZO Vs. Fabolous

Monday 11:00 Am...or somethin like it.

DJ Buc: Hot 93.7, Tell em' why you mad.....

Anonymous: I'm mad cause I'm one of Fab's biggest fans, I paid 45 Dollars to go to his concert at Toads and he came out at 1:45, knowing the club closes at 2:00. He did one song, and then when I ran into him outside, he wouldn't even say whats up or nothing!!! I fixed his ass, I followed him to the highway and almost ran him off the road.


Monday, approximately 11:05 am.

Miss Maino: DEZO, was that you I just heard on the radio ranting about Fabolous?!! It was, wasn't it?

DEZO: Damn, I thought I disguised my voice.


Two weeks Earrrrrrrrlier (Philadelphia Freeway Voice.) LOL.

DEZO: Yo, Fab Commin to New Haven!!

Show: So.

DEZO: Tickets are only 45 dollars. We goin?

Show: F**K no. Nas don't even charge that much. Plus Fab is'll regret it.

He eventually did.

After arriving at Toads on time, which is a major no-no because the performing artists are always 2 hours late, leaving you stuck listening to local rappers you grew up with and who suck, Dezo goes to the bar and orders a long island.

After two hours go by and DEZO's frugal, non drinkin ass is still sipping the same long Island, the crowd begins to get restless. Everyone, that is, except for DEZO. He's about to see his favorite artist play all his favorite songs...who knows, maybe he'll even give DEZO a shout out for all those STAN letters he wrote. Kidding. Nevertheless, DEZO's loyal crew stays true to their name and hangs out without complaining so that their boy can witness his idol rock the mic.

Another two hours go by and the boos start coming like it's an Apollo ghost festival. Even DEZO's pissed by now as the clock gets closer and closer to two o'clock. This is how I felt at the Foxy Concert when she came in at 1:45 and was so deaf she couldnt even stay on beat and had her brother rap her song for her while she just danced and got drunk. Difference was, I went because it was free and couldnt give a shit if it was Foxy Brown or Dora the explorer shakin her titties on stage. I was just there for the Red Stripe. LOL.

The clock eventually struck about 1:40 and DEZO overhears some bouncers saying "Thats fu*cked up that he won't come and do the set because the crowds not big enough. The deal was, he gets a cut of tickets sold. Not our fault no one wants to see his ass. Maybe he shouldn't be chargin 45 dollars like he's Hov. The whole Wu-tang clan aint even charge that much...and they splitting profits by 12. LOL. "

Five minutes later Fab comes and does an unimpressive three half-songs in 5 minutes, then bounces.

Dezo sees how its going down and goes outside. This is where the fun starts.

Dezo is standing by the side door fuming mad, venting to his Loyalty crew about the bad experience.

Dezo: "Man, Fuck Fab."

Then it happened. His idol walks out the side door, covered in diamonds and the aura of a certified Brooklyn street superstar. Dezo's eyes light up as he seemingly forgets that he was even mad and says " Aiyo Fab, what up...I got all your CD's, you ripped that set son....That last CD is bananas!!!" The he puts his hand out for a high five, handshake or dap (combination of the two.)

Fab gives a dismissing glare and a slight push. No head nod, no "thanks homie", no nothing. Just a "watch out nigga," as he shoves past and hops in his cherry red Mercedes.

Jeff (Not Jeff Daddy. No homo.) : Damn. That Nigga just sonned you. Thats like a dude smashing your baby mama in your car and leaving a condom on the baby seat. Straight hurtful. Mad rude.

Thinking quick, and apparently like a crazy person, DEZO gets his boys into the car and then goes speeding after fab, yelling and cursing. They follow the red Mercedes and two vans for about ten minutes until they get on the highway. Speeding up to a speed of about 110, DEZO manages to break up the Street Family Convoy, passing the promo van and swerving in between Fabolous's brother Paul Kain's Mercedes and Fabs car. He is now directly behind Fab on I -95 South.

DEZO hops in the left lane and begins to cut the wheel right...Fab switches into the slow lane, probably thinking the dude in the extreme left lane is drunk and may hit him. Bad move. Now he's near the shoulder.

DEZO moves right and tries to steer Fab onto the side of the road.

Jeff (Not Jeff Daddy. No homo.): Yo, my nigga!!! You buggin...Chill out man, for real.

DEZO'S not having that. This beef is not squashed. He continues to veer right. Lucky for his passengers and insurance company, a Mercedes is much faster than a Nissan. Fabuloso's bitch ass manages to outrun the crazy man.

Yea I said it, Fab you're a bitch.

Dezo, however, you are a crazy groupie meat hopper and are not off the hook.

Nonetheless, that, my friends, is how you finish a Rap beef.

C4: You shoulda did that to Luda.

Show: Fuck Ludacris.

Live, Love, Carne.


No comments: