Monday, February 1, 2010

Lefleur's Double Play Weekend

I'm fully aware that you love the way my friends and I operate. In keeping with this train (pause) of thought, I am reminded of a conversation between myself and my boy Lefleur a few years back...

Show: I understand that once you have kids, you live for them...but what do we live for now? Jobs eventually get boring, hoes eventually get fat (which is only a problem if they don't have pretty faces) and life just becomes...well...blah.

Leflur: Yea man. I was thinking the same thing and came up with the conclusion that we are living for something...we live for the story. Think about how many times you've done something just because you'd know it'd be a good story to re-tell.

Lefleur was right, or as he would say, "fu*kin right."

This being said, I a dedicating this post (no homo) to the dumb stories Lefleur racked up this weekend.

Lefleur's Double Play (pause) Weekend.

Count 1:

Setting (Eating Bacon Cupcakes at buc Dinero's crib (Coons!!!)

I wish the Iphone camera was better.

Lefleur: Damn, your edge-up looks crisp Buc Dinero.

Show: That ni**a looks like Avant with the R-kelly fade. Can't front tho, its crisp.

Buc Dinero: F**k you Show. You look like Huey.

Show: Whatever, I just came from the [barber]shop. What shop you go to Lefleur, I aint seen you in there in a minute.

Lefleur: Oh you know I got the hood hookup. I got it cut at pocket wireless. You know the barbershop's hood when it's open at like 9:00 at night.

Show: What!!?? You got your haircut at a cellphone store?

Buc: That's Why it look fucked up. Guess when he said "I'm bout to fuck you head up...can you hear me now?" you didnt hear his ass. LOL.

Lefleur: It aint a cellphone store...well it is kinda. The sign says pocket Wireless, but if you go all the way in the back they cut hair.

I don't care what further explanation was coming, this is coon strike # 1. LMAO.

Offense # 2:

Setting: Post Club Let out at 7-11.

After a night of drinking Black label on the rocks (or a "Black History" as I like to call it.....Black Label on "Icebergs"...get it?), I cannot lie....I was faded (slang translation = drunk.) Was I as drunk as Lefleur? Hell to the Naw.

Lefleur leaves our local watering hole by himself to go to a club that's so hood, they refuse to put bar stools at the bar, claiming its against a law or city ordinance. There is no such law, they just want to be able to get a clear path out of there when someone inevitably gets shot in there (Again.)

Bartender: Last Call.

Lefleur: Let me get a triple shot of Remy.

Triple shots? Really my dude. Sidenote: I'm proud of him. We get it in. Pause.
Lefleur then proceeds to wander to the 7-11 intent on getting hot dogs (pause.)

Show: You know you had the bubble guts eating those 7-11 hot dogs.

Lefleur: Nah, I ended up with a bowl of chili...or something like it.

Show: something like it? And wait, 7-11 don't serve chili.
Lefleur: what had happened was...(White people, whenever a black person says this, they are about to lie or tell you about some nonsense they participated in.)

Apparently upon entering 7-11 and seeing a lack of hot dogs, which was all he could probably afford after drinking expensive ass Remy, Lefleur sees the condiment stand (obviously meant for hot dog eating customers) with a sign that says "FREE."

He then proceeds to grab a plate and hit the little condiment pump, putting hot dog chili on his plate 1 squirt at a time. about 10 minutes later he's walking out of the 7-11 after buying nothing, with a plate full of chili topped with cheese, as he smiles to the clerk and says "It said 'free' right?" Seeing as how it was 3:00am and he probably wasnt in the mood for coonery, the cashier just shakes his head at the drunken dream personified and says "just go ahead man, whatever."

Coon strike # 2!!!! Good Job Lefleur, I couldn't have done it better myself.

Live, Love, Genuinely funny shit.

--Show-Sho no H. (still waiting for someone to have a three strike weekend. LOL.)

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