Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Whos the bigger meat hopper? Show Vs. Lefleur.

How did Jimminy Cricket get Salmonella???

From Meat Hopping, that's How. LMAO.

I'm sure you all remember this lovable little, green Flavor-Flav looking insect from the early Disney catalogue. If you don't you must've been too poor to have the real shit and were probably watching shit like that Bo Jackson-Michael Jordan-Wayne Gretsky Cartoon, which by the way, was also dope.

Now, even at the risk of sounding extremely wild homo, I'm about to talk to you about something serious...meat. LMAO. Shut the f**k up and get your minds out the gutter...

Perverts. I'm not talking about penis. Well, I guess I sorta am...in a figurative way. For you see boys and girls, "meat hopping" also know as "di*k riding", "jocking", or as white people would say "being a groupie," involves the act of over-stressing the importance of a certain individual based on status, wealth or apparent "coolness." In layman's terms, meat hoppin is akin to parasitically hoppin on famous niggas (or pseudo famous niggas) jock straps and swinging like tarzan or a middle-aged white couple in an orgy.

First you find the meat...Pause.

Then you Hop the Meat. LMAO. No Homo.

Example One: Who Cares about Joe Budden?

While enjoying a spring break as only a token black man (who is not so token but has no problems dipping in that sweet white becky-nectar) can do, Show-Sho no H is approached by a random rogue.

Random Coonish looking dude with money: Ayo son, you wanna be on the radio??

Show-Sho: Yea, why not.

Random Dude: Aight, we upstairs in the Shade 45 Suite. We Eminem's people. There are like no other black people in this hotel except Biz Markee.

Show-Sho: Yea, I saw his drunk ass.

Random Dude: Let's go. Bring 1 person.

Show-Sho: C'mon Boozay. Lets roll.

Show: Damn I love Tahiry's ass.

C4: You digress nigga.

Show: Oh yea.

So we get upstairs in this pimp ass suite where I meet Hot 97 DJ Cypha Sounds and he asks me a bunch of questions. In an attempt to make myself cooler than they undoubtedly think I am, I tell funny stories about bitches I've met the past few days. Then they unleashed the beast.

Enter random slutty, hot white girl.

Cypha: What would you do if you saw her at a bar? How would you holla.

Instead of responding with some corny shit, as I was actually interested in passing myself off as a rapper and possibly doing her doggystyle, I spit a hot 16 bars from a song I had written called Drunk White Girls.

Everyone loves it and goes bananas. Slaughterhouse's Joe Budden then comes in, we freestyle a bit, take a flick and boom...I'm outa there like a fat kid in dodgeball, after exchanging some numbers...pause. I proceed to call my boys and say "I'ma be on Shade 45, but I won't be home before it airs. Me and Buddens are freestyling. Tape it! Aiiight, I got hoes to harass. One."

Did a Meat Hop Occur?

Example 2: Jay Z's Nephew.

I gotta make this one short since I wasn't actually there for the potiental meat hop.

Show: Damn Lefleur, that's a fly Coogi sweater. Like Rosie Perez in the 90's fly. I know you paid a grip.

Lefleur: Nah playa. Free-99.

Show: You boostin nigga?

Lefleur: Nah, Jay Z Nephew bought it for me.

LMAO. I don't think it was this nephew, but it's funny anyway.

So apparently Lefleur is friends with a dude who has a whole lot of money, and consequently turns out to be Jay Z's nephew. Being from "Marcy son" or whatever part of NY it is that rappers families move to once they become whitewashed and affluent, this nigga didn't have a car...or didnt know how to drive. Makes sense, being from NY and all.

Pequeno Jay Z: Yo, Lefleur, you mind bringin me to the mall ?

Lefleur: Dummy mission. Let's roll.

After shopping around the mall and buying a myriad of shit, Lefleur asks some passers by to take a pic of he and Jay Z's nephew. He then proceeds to get a button made at the photo booth with he and little Shawn Carter's face that says "Roc Boys 4 Life." After this, the two cruise the mall singing Jay Z songs and Lefleur begs him to get his uncle on the phone. Lefleur hears the God MC on the other line and faints.

OK, I made the last paragraph up. LOL. They go to the mall and upon copping half the mall, Jay-Z nephew nigga asks Lefleur if he wants a Coogi (WP FYI ..white people, for your information, a coogi is a 500+ dollar swearer which looks like clown throw-up. ) Lefluer being the brotha that he is says "hell yea." He calls his boys, "Yo I'm hangin with Jay Z nephew and he copped me the ill coogi. Why? I dont know, I gave him a ride. The nigga got mad money."

Did a Meat hop occur?

Keep the comments flowing so that we know who wins the award for meat hopper of the year and consequently gets pissed off. Please let this spill over onto facebook walls as well. I'm in a trouble making mood. Whhhoooo hah ha ha ha (Halloween Laugh.)

Live, Love, Startin shit like Curtis Jackson

Show-Sho no Homo.


A2K-10 Virus said...

Ok, The French nigga definitely dick ridin Extra Hard (Little Brother)! You kiddin me?!? (Jim Mora Sr.). This nigga even got Memphis Bleek clownin him if Bleek read that post, and He "Even Like That".

I'm know the various ways to describe meat packin, since that was the first time I heard the phrase, since we used a myriad of phrases to describe what you are talking about. (Shout out to South Park, PA)

Dick Rider
Tip Drill
Pole Jockin
Dick Swangin
Cock, Rock, and Tug It (I just made that up)
Hype-man (white people research that hip hop term)
Memphis Bleekin (yes I don't like him)
Swag Surfin (just chose to put this one out because I hate the term, the song, and the fact no nigga surfs)

Future Graduate of a State School
-A2K-10 Virus

Rock said...

Memph Bleking!!! LMAO. Thats that 2010 sh*t!!!!