Saturday, January 23, 2010

Sober eye for the drunk guy / Penn Girls I wanted to Smash

This is for you Akira, even though we have never laid down in a bed naked and bumped uglies. I appreciate that you read NHB and call us out when we do things like...ahemmm...recycle WJA3's 10 best albums of the year post. I wanted to do this saturday post about the top 10 girls by name that I wanted to smash while at Penn, but C4 vetoed it. Sucka.

Anyways shout out to J.N (Black), N.V (Pepper), M (switched last names) (Pepper), P.J (Pepper), M.S (Black), Z (is a last name needed), N.P (pepper), C.V (something like a pepper), C.G (black), A.T (Swine), S.G (Indo) and N.C. (Asiatic...LOL). Hah, F**k you C4. I woke up earlier!!!!!

Anyway, onto my regularly scheduled irregular post.

Being a sober fly on a drunk wall has its perks.

Not only do I get to break up fights, blatently stare at bra-busting beauties and eavesdrop on some of the dumbest convos ever, I also get to take pics...and videos.

Like this random African dude freakin it!!!

C4: Slow ya roll patna. No one knows what you're drunk ass is talking about.

Show: Right...a little bit of backround.

For those of you who don't completely stalk my whole entire life on the boardwalk (Pauly D Voice), I should explain that I help out a friend by working the door at a local bar. Yep, you heard what I said. Little old 5' 11" Blogness is serving as a makeshift bouncer...and no, I don't have a napolean (Or Prodigy from Mobb Deep for my black folk) complex.

Everytime I'm Working (and by that I mean drinking beer while checking ID's, I see the funiest shit...Now I'm not talking like 5 people in a row (True story) trying to use the same guys ID and all getting kicked out, or kids with fake ID's not knowing their birth month...I'm talking like niggas getting the STATE wrong!!!! Come on son!!! (Ed Lover Verse.) Moral of the story, have a nice rack or memorize your shit. LOL.

So anyways, it is now 3:30 am and I'm giving you a glimpse of my Friday Night. LOL.

Now think of the melody from the song "pants on the ground", as I give you some backround music for the next flick.

Just think "Mouthwash at the bar, wash at the bar....lookin like a fool drinkin mouthwash at the bar." Yes nigga, drinking, not the old mouthwash bums on the green do to get drunk. LMAO.

Why did we allow this, might you ask? Because while it is not OK to sexually manipulate a girl who is black out drunk (i.e. RAPE), it is completely permissible to take advantage of her, aka allow her to simulate fellatio on a jalepeno and then bite it!! After her mouth was on fire, she thought that drinking Listerene would help. SMH. Yale = Epic Fail. Again. Go Quakers!

Other notable nonsense includes a sophmore girl wearing a full white Mink into a college bar, where the most expensive thing being ordered was a bitcher of coors lite, a mentally challenged man getting a handjob from a random chick and the 48 yr old owner of the Pizza Place where we get our post-last call munchies meeting an untimely demise...aka shooting his 25 yr old wife 6 times and then turning the gun on himself. Sheesh.

Live, Love, Saturday Bloggin!!!


The Imperial WJA3 said...

While I read on twitter that the next blog would be 10 PENN Girls I wanted to smash, I rushed to the computer to see if y'all really was going to make the ultimate reckless post. Unfortunately, y'all didn't.

Show said...

C4 wouldn't let me !!!! I alluded tho!

Akira said...

Oh dear, I totally forgot I requested this until now. So its like a bonus Sunday blog for me. Thanks for the first sentence shout out, and um, thanks for saying you never slept with me. Awkward.

I also would be totally for the recklss posting mentioned by one WJA3. If only for the giggling and pointing I could do at the reunion. On second thought, save that post for before the reunion and give updates the Monday after. YES!

C 4 said...

I hereby rescind my veto, and that reckless post will be your future.