Tuesday, January 19, 2010

MLK Day: A Day OFF!!!

Where are you going? You better stage a sit-in at the crib on my birthday.

Yesterday was the third Monday in January, aka the day that we Americans celebrate the birthday of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., who needs no further introduction. Hopefully you had the day off work yesterday. If you didn't, you're probably at least mildly salty about it. Keepin' it 100, you're not "working on Christmas or New Year's" salty, but a little saltier than working on like Valentine's or Columbus Day. You guys with wack non-government jobs aren't my primary audience today anyway. In any case, I hope they paid you overtime.

Cuz dammit, if you make me work on Martin Luther King Day, best BELIEEEEVE I'm getting paid. F*** that volunteering s***, sorry for cussin.

Seriously, man. Everybody act like, "Oh, it's King Day, I gotta clean up a school and shit." Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck dat! I wasn't volunteering no damn way, and neither were you, so stop fronting because you feel guilty because you're nowhere near the humanitarian that MLK was. And that's okay! It's whatever! That's why we gave him a national holiday! Cuz most of us wouldn't do HALF of what Dr. King went through for ANYBODY. Real. Talk.

Not only that. The older black folks especially feel guilty because right after the man died, they rioted like it was going out of style. Major cities across America were being burned to the ground behind the rage, hurt and despair felt around the country when Dr. King was assassinated. But how did these fool ass colored folk riot? Did they go into white neighborhoods and tear shit up? Did they storm the steps of city hall? WRONG! WRONG! These ninjas went and destroyed all of THEIR OWN neighborhoods. The good ones! The affluent ones! The ones that had a future. Think about this next time you say, "dag Harlem/Chicago/Detroit/DC is f****d up, wonder what happened?" So our parents' generation had a lot of explaining to do. Still do, really, cuz those neighborhoods never recovered. And quite frankly y'all have had 40 years to fix them back up. Fine let's say 30, since everything got sidetracked with that whole "crack epidemic" that happened in the '80s, or so I hear (sarcasm).

Ever wonder why North Philly still looks like this? (This pic is of DC, but it's still accurate)

So with this guilt, what do you do? You start listening to the radio and your local pastor or some other self-righteous nigga in kente cloth talking about, "It is a day ON, not a day OFF! This is what Dr. King's legacy is all about!"

Negro please. Got a point? Of course you do. But when is it that we ever really observe the true meaning of the holiday in question when that time comes around?

Do you work on Labor Day? Oh, you have a cookout, do you? Do you have a somber day at the VA hospital on Memorial Day? What was that? You go on vacation and then have a cookout? Well do you rape and pillage another culture on Columbus Day? Cuz if you did you're a dangerous felon and should be off the street, sicko.

Half of the people celebrating Christmas aren't even Christian, and on Valentine's Day you get wasted at a bar with your lonely self hoping some other lonely person with low self-esteem will sleep with you by the end of the night so you both don't slit your wrists from all the fake love and PDA swirling around you. But I digress.

What perplexes me though was the vehement opposition by certain white people to the recognition of the MLK holiday: John McCain of Arizona, President Ronald Reagan, the late Jesse Helms, who reminded voters that he tried to block the legislation with a 16-day filibuster. C'mon crackers. Are you so hateful that you won't accept a day off from work? A three-day weekend at that? So now they want you to volunteer. Tricking black people into working on King Day. EAT A DICK! Utah knew what time it was. They didn't wanna name it after Dr. King (Human Rights Day my ass!) but they were cool with the extended weekend.

So enjoy yourself! Pop the champagne! Pour it on some titties! Just don't start a fight at your local movie theater, he was a peaceful man.

So what she's white. This a day of racial harmony, people.

C4 2 Ya Door,

Mo Peace, No Wars


A2K-10 Virus said...

Not only did I have to work in the pharmacy yesterday (4-8, thanks district manager for cutting ni***s intern hours), but it was also in my hometown which is extra white. I'm talking Dakota Fanning white.

Not that I have a problem with white people, but I'm tired of mixing antibiotic suspensions for grown ass teenagers who claim they have difficulty swallowing a capsule. WTF?!?!

Lies. You gon tell me ya 16 year old daughter can swallow dicks and cum simultaneously like John Candy swallowed sweet cakes in Uncle Buck, but you can't swallow a 500 mg capsule of amoxicillin with water, you pasty faced lecherous super-sleuths?

And to you, Mr. 'Why Don't You Carry the Suspension form to Oxycodone in your Pharmacy, my son just had surgery and is in pain?' Um well...because we don't COnDONE (get it?) giving children opiates, you 9-5 jobber trash bastard. And shame to your 16 year old son who can't swallow an oxycodone pill(no HOMOnyn). He better never ask to get his pee pee sucked (pausito) by any bitches, because they swallow larger objects than a pill, you small throat bastard. How do you swallow Cheerios you pussy?
It should be a prerequisite for teenage boys: If you old enough to get your dick hole sucked (no HOMOpathy), you old enough to swallow a pill. Leave the suspensions to the toddlers and to bitches who've had their throats permanently injured from messing with ni***s from the monsters of cock website (no HOMeOstasis).

In ranting in Oncology class

A2K-10 Virus

MW said...

^An "Uncle Buck" reference? Hand me a gigantic pad of butter and a plate of those baby-crushing flapjacks.

Speaking of slathering substances on other things, I celebrated MLKJ-Day in the truest of spirits: by having interracial sex. I don't judge people by the color of their skins, but by the contents of their pants. I think all of us can appreciate the beauty of sex without racial boundaries.

...Unless your heteroracial trick only has one leg. I'm still thinking about the mechanics of that one.

In King-clusion, fuck you, Tide ColorGuard™! I mix my white with colors.

black humble lion said...

Get to work.