Friday, January 8, 2010

Jesus wasn't Black!!! But Lil Wayne Is!!!

Let's be honest people. We all know that nigga Jesus wasn't black. What? Nigga is not a cuss word. I use it all the time with my mom and dad. It's not like I called him a MF'er or a Coon. LOL.

Anyways...I like the idea of Jesus having dreads and rocking a Jesus piece just as much as the next man but I'ma keep it real (2000's Cliche' of the day).

LMAO. I'm mad they got my nigga lookin like Lavar Burton (The reading Rainbow nigga) when he played in roots!! We said Jesus nigga, not Akon or Anthony Hamilton!!! But nevertheless....I digress.

Articulate negro scholars and culturally confused white guys like to constantly cite the idea that Jesus had "hair like wool" and "a bronze complexion." NEWSFLASH, his ass was in 100 degree heat and Jewish people are known for their knotty little Jew-fro's. Remember, Jesus was king of the Jews before he was killed by one of his own people (Lazarus or something) pulling a snitch move. See? We don't do that. Blacks (excluding everyone on the First 48) started the whole stop snitching movement (gives a proud smile).

C4: What is your point bruh? Are you just trying to use the N word a bunch of times and prove something which cant be proven in an effort to rile people up? Is this because your Anne Frank the Stripper blog didn't get you enough negative press? Offend the Jews and the darkies...ahem..blacks?

The point is this Mr. mood-killer (no homo). I wanted to believe Jesus was black, kinda like I wanted to believe in Santa Claus, but every time i see a brother depicted as Jesus, he looks like a foolish coon.

The last one is the worst. Really Nas? And Diddy. It was your song, you wanted to be put on the cross too!!! I blame you P-Poppa-Puff-Diddy. You damn monkey!!!! LMAO.

LOL. My point has been proven. Hold up though yo....I'm not done.

The newest in-coon-nation of Jesus is coming in March via a cartoon about the once heralded, now banned, booty poppin chickenhead fest in Atlanta known as freaknik. That's right. T-pain, (who's a damn cartoon in and of himself), is directing a Cartoon for Adult Swim called Freakniks, where Jesus Christ is being played by Weezy F. Baby. DAMNIT ALL!!!! Darn it To Hell! I give up...But i'll still watch it. ;)

Guess we better start saying Jesus F. Christ...please say the Christ.

Live, Love, Tomfoolery!!!

--Brother Thelonious &
-- Friar Tuck

1 comment:

MW said...

Yep, Jesus was a Jew, all right. I saw a program that used anthro-archaeological evidence to reconstruct what he may have looked like: no black person has a nose like that! The air sure was dry back then, too...

But, I'm pretty fucking sure that he did not look like Remy Ma as Shesus Khryst!

P.S. Tell Negro Santa that I didn't get what I wanted this year. You people all know each other, right? Maybe the White Jesus will take pity on me and my beautiful alabaster self and intercede for me.

Blasphemies, crass for free, and cover art catastrophes --- W.