Wednesday, December 30, 2009

"White people make you gay? No, Trannys make you gay"

I've tolerated the anoymous and not so subtle racism occasionally left in the coments section as well as the credible death threat from an indivivual who has since been identified, thereby letting me know that shit was realer than titties with stretch marks!



The reason I say this, is because I believe in wholeheartedly keeping it 100, even when it entails allowing other people to use my own blog to diss me, question my divine authority or incinuate that I am..ahem...gay. Today is no different.



I'm gonna post this shit because it makes for good material, and because I'm not a hater. I swear that blog viewership better get past 31 (though I love looking at snottie hottie's face and my boy benny ru who's been down since we were two. Pause. )



Here goes.



A Letter from a concerned reader:



Dear Show, Show-Sho No homo, Blogness Monsta, Nessy , Nappyheaded Asshole or whatever gay monkier or epithet you are using for the day.



Why is it that you continually push the limits of heterosexuality yet use phrases like "no homo" and "pause" like they're going out of style. I have nothing against homosexuals, but I'm sure they have something against you (other than their penises when you are secretly fornicating with them. Lol.) If I was gay, I'd hate your ass. Actually, I'm straight and don't care much for you anyway. That, however, is a moot point.





I read the blog because you are an interestingly strange individual who has at least somewhat mastered his craft. I also like the apparent irony in the "Humility breeds success tattoo" you vain, egocentric son of a bitch. You and your Bromance "Tha Caveman" actually have named your two man operation the "Faceguys". You cannot get any more vein [sic] than that without being jabbed by a needle. Get it? See I'm funny too.



I didn't come here to break your stones about being vain (because it's not new news) or about being gay, because you most likely arent and have probably slept with more women than me. The real reason I have written this dear John letter (or better yet, "dear Jamal letter" you coon...jk) is to let you know that SLEEPING WITH TRANNYS IS NOT ACCEPTIBLE BEHAVIOR FOR A STRAIGHT MAN WHO "No Homo's" everything!!!! Let me explain why.



After your disgusting post I could not ever see myself eating a banana or two melons without puking like a Frat boy during pledge. saying things like "If I found out mid sex that she was a pre-op and she was fine, I'd have her move it out the way" only makes me doubt the validity of your heterosexuality dog (Randy Jackson voice). Pre- or Post op, doesnt define whether or not sleeping with a transgender person is gay. You need to switch your para-dig-ems son !! (Paradigms).



Male or female is primarily determined in the brain's neuro synapses , and it is irrelevant what the physical manifestation presents itself as. Actually, its not irrelevant, cause If I see you with a man with titties or a chick with a huge boner, I'm gonna call you gay (even though it goes against everything I believe.) Fuck it, I've been conditioned by America!! So Sue me! It's hard not to be a hypocrite given my current situation ;)





Theses things being said, I hope you were able to gain something from this rant as I feel like its necessary that you learn to respect transexual culture before immersing yourself in it (as is evident from the foreshadowing posts.) Just for the record, I love the blog and am an avid reder from none other than Money Craven New Haven. When you see me, it will completely blow your mind and you will want to fu*k me. I suggest you start being nicer to your fans.



Sincerely,



A Transsexual Puertorican Midget.





Live, Love, WTF!!!!!!



--Blogness



"This is not me fucking with you" --C4

3 comments:

G said...

WTF?!?!? A midget really damn Show looks like you gonna have your hands full or at least you pocket full lmao that shit is crazy!!

Anonymous said...

LOL. Blog is funny.

MW said...

As a concerned non-heterophobe, I applaud the Transsexual Puertorican Midget for their [gender-neutral pronoun?] candor.

You should ask them [i.e. the TPM] if they have slept with better looking black men than you. Woulndn't that just rankle you up?

Finally, when considering your next sexual conquest, do the mental checklist:

Fat tits? You're a straight men. Apparently.
Fat ass? Well, you are black.
Fat rolls? Probably double-OK, for a plumper-chaser.
Fat cock? ...Ahem, time to check your wristband. "WWTPMD?" What would your diminutive tranny Pepperican do, indeed?