Monday, December 7, 2009

The "Pleasure" Is All Gone

Good morning to you all, Nappy-Headed Friends! Show Rocka can't be here this morning because he may or may not still be in a Pennsylvania titty bar.

Your favorite stripper LOVES Hi Show Rocka!

I sure hope he is. But anyway, if he were here, he'd be writing a blog that started off something like this:

Eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww!!! Yuck! Gross! It's disgusting! Deplorable!

Yes it is. I'm sure you know by now, but in case you don't, Pleasure P, formerly of the group of nut ass coons, Pretty Ricky, has been accused of being a child molester by the daughter of his lawyer, via Twitter, because he's been behind on his lawyer fees.

You may think we abuse the word 'coon' on this blog, but if you've EVER seen Pretty Ricky perform in any context or seen them on video, you CANNOT refute the title. Ever.

SKERRRRRRRT!!! HHHWhat?!?!?! (Lil Jon voice)

You mean to tell me the ONLY normal-looking guy in the group, the ONLY one who if you saw him, you could feasibly describe as the kind of guy who might consider himself a pretty boy, the ONLY one who can sing, and who kept all their singles afloat by distracting from the IGNORANT and often poorly constructed rhymes in the mean to tell me HE'S the pedophile?

Oh shit. Looks sure can be deceiving. Cuz I would've put money down that the dude with the weird shape-up was the front-runner for the child molester prize, followed by the one with the dreds. But apparently he tried to kick it to Keyshia Cole's mom, so I guess he's on the other end of the spectrum. But I digress.

I still can't get over it. I mean, LOOK at these NIGGAS!

You mean to tell me that at first glance you'd rather have your kids around these three....

...than around this one?

Well apparently that's the case. And I'm sure you've already read countless other blogs going in on this dude, saying things like P stands for Pedophile, or "Who are you REALLY talking to On The Hotline?" Or they might publicly condemn him to death and quickly denounce him as a disgusting human being.

And they might be right about all of that. Cuz this is no typical case of "black entertainer run-in with the law." This is the one thing that everyone on the planet, from choir boys and girl scouts to murderers and rapists, all agree is one of the most sinisterly vile acts on the planet. He's allegedly been convicted of molesting his 3 and 4 year old niece and nephew when he was 17. UUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!! It's just the WORST.

But there's something else in this story that I think tends to go over-looked, or at least has been so far. And that is this, ladies and gentlemen:

Laura Goldstein is f***ing up. The daughter of the alleged attorney of Pleasure P, Anthony Goldstein, proceeded to air him out on Twitter. See below.

And there it is. Ether to his life. And maybe it's better that no one ever in life leaves their kid around the guy, but did shorty really need to go about it like that? Cuz here's the problem:

1) Your dad is about to be disbarred for violating attorney-client privilege, for telling you about this in the first place. That's right, no more lawyer license for Daddy, thanks to his dumb ass little girl. You REALLY ain't getting your money now, sweetie. And Anthony, next time a celebrity case is in your hands (which will be NEVER), don't go popping off to your stupid, self-important daughter and her Twitter account. Thanks. (But do follow us at

2) Who the fuck are YOU? Again, I fully denounce this dude's actions, and he may or may not have received the right amount of counseling (cuz does a child molester ever really recover?), but you young lady have taken it upon yourself of robbing someone of a remotely normal life, you're fucked up for that one.

2a) But it's also valid to say "fuck him, he robbed those kids of normal lives by violating them, he gets what he deserves."

3) What an awkward time to be named Pleasure P!!!!! (you know I had to re-lighten things) Oh God, how painfully ironic. How hilariously terrible and awful to be named Pleasure P and be associated with pedophilia. You know he's gotta change his name now. Like, it was a borderline creepy name to start with, but DAMN! Now it just makes you wanna use hand sanitizer. He's gotta change it to something completely innocuous (look it up!) like "Jeff The Accountant," or "Prudent P," or "Librarian." Because "Everyday Normal Guy," quite frankly, is already taken. By this guy...
Please youtube this man.

At the end of the day, all I know is this. Somewhere, right now, Chris Brown is laughing his ass off.

C4 2 Ya Door, and I can transform ya.

Ya Dig?!

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