Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Newsflash Ladies!! Facebook is Bad for You Too!!!!!

This is 198 bitches. We are approaching our 200th post, So I'm gonna make this one good. Short & sweet...but good. Like sex with a chocolate midget. LOL.

Men have been aware of this for a long time, but unsurprisingly, women are yet to get it. Reason being? Men think with their shlongs and women think with their hearts. I have an intuitive belief that cocks are smarter than hearts. LOL.

Sociopolitics of Men (pause) & the Facebook Phenomenon

Men have long been aware of the dangers of social networking sites like Facebook and myspace....well, really it's just facebook we're talking about. Lets be honest, black planet is sooooooo middle school. Women, naturally, love these sorts of sites. What better way to stake your claim on a man than by posting pics of you too boo-loving , ice skating and shit, all the while having the ability to post cheesy shit on their public wall and hit a little button that says "'so and so' is in a relationship with 'whats her face'."

Yes bitches, you know you love it. Electronic monitoring of ones significant other in an indiscreet manner, isn't life grand.

Women, you've finally gotten it right. We conceded defeat. You've tricked us into a life of diminished privacy and mastered the facebook system. You are King.

Just kidding. If you believe that cockamamie shit than you really are as stupid as your silicone tits lead others to believe. You probably also believe Chris brown is a saint.

OBVIOUSLY a man created Facebook (Mark Zuckersomething to be kinda exact) and he OBVIOUSLY didn't make it with you in mind. Ha-Ha-Ha. Facebook sucks for you too ladies. Here's why.

Sociopolitics of Women (oww owwww) & the Facebook phenomenon

Women. Allow me to introduce you to something called college dorm syndrome.

While living in dorms or on a college campus, a man is most likely to procreate with the greatest number of women simply based on the fact of mere availability. Most people dont have serious girlfriends throughout college because of the aspect of temptation and availability of drunken hook ups at random frat parties. (If you did not go to college, insert high school...there was less booze, but girls were dumber.)

I know you are thinking, "what the fuck does this have to do with FB?" How about you shut the fuck up and let me explain (Dr. Ruth Voice.)

Once men and women get older, they no longer have the whole week to worry about drinking and fornicating. They have jobs and responsibilities. Everyone disperse and begins the transition into actual adults, surrounded by other adults from different surroundings. People dont stop being tempted because they no longer like the opposite sex, its because you don't really see them as much!!

I mean, sure, you see them at work but you're focused on making that bread...you see them in the street (but you know nothing about them)...get my point? The only time men really run into women (thereby reminding us that there are women sexier than our girlfriends) are at bars and clubs...and guess who's with you at last half the time you're at a bar or club (unless you're me)...WIFEY.

Enter Facebook.

Now men are not only able to come face to face with hundreds of available females (and non-available females who are just bored), they get to LOOK AT PICTURES OF THEM ALL DAY!!!! Its sort of like a hot girl vending machine, and college dorm syndrome is being recreated right before our eyes! You can pick which beautiful woman you want to talk to, find all your Ex-Gf's and engage in flirty banter until the cows come home. That's right ladies, the Monster has been created!!!!!

Now I'm no Rocket Surgeon, but I can safely say that most of the flirting is harmless and policing your hubby's FB wall is not the way to solve the problem...neither is deleting each others accounts. Here comes Showrocka the Love Doctor's gem of relationship wisdom for the day. Do something sexy or entertaining. Make yourself new and thereby more attractive than the sweet buzzing of a sexy status updates or uploaded pics from some hussy's camera phone. Just a thought. ;)

Live, Love, College (Asher Roth Voice).


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