Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I love you but I have to Quit you Pt 5: SNOOKI !!!!

Is it wrong that I like watching Jersey shore? I feel like it's reparations for slavery and "For the Love of Ray J."

Nevertheless, I know this has to stop. Immediately.

I've done it again. Forgive me father for I have sinned. I have sat down and watched More than a few hours of reality TV only to find out it is yet another guilty pleasure I will soon have to renounce. That's right people. I've been watching MTV's Jersey Shore, and I'm addicted to snooki cookies. Pun intended.

Th fact that I am amused by the show is not at all surprising. This show, unsurprisingly, represents a uber-exaggerated microcosm of a segment of society which could be described as retarded at best. Guess what? I don't care if you're retarded Snookie baby, I love you and your Tropicana Orange Juice tan . Love handles? Yea, she's got em. That just means there's more Jersey-ness to love.

The best part about her and her comrades disgusting portrayal of stereotypes is still yet to come. That's right, the best part is, for once it's not black people acting like coons in their hogwash tomfoolerific splendor. Hahahahaha white folks, this is what you get for not protesting Flavor of Love, Homeboys in Outerspace or anything with Ray J in it (excluding the Kardasian tape. )

Ok, so the more I think about this, the more I begin to think there's nothing wrong with it. So what if I'm in love with an I-tallian girl who wouldn't give me the time of day because I'm not Guido enough. So what if I know she's fat but cannot help but shake my attraction for her. So what if she is, or appears to be dumb as a rock that dropped out of homeschooling. All of these reservations were wiped away the minute I saw her get punched in the face. My jaw (Pause) and heart dropped...well, they did once I stopped laughing. LOL.

As funny as the banned episode's punch in the face scene was, it's still upsetting to see a man hit a woman..specially one of the ones I love. LOL. Sure she may deserve to lose all speaking privileges for some of the dumb shit she says, but this....this shit right here nigga (Hov voice) , is unacceptable. Nobody hits my girl...And until I find this punk Gym teacher Brad Ferro, me and snookie can't call it quits.

Say what you want about Jersey Girls, (and most of it is probably true), but nobody deserves to get Chris Brown-ed...unless of course someone gave someone else an undisclosed STD or made them pay child support for someone elses baby.

Snooki has done neither of the tw0 (so far) and is OK in my book. I know one day i'll have to quit you boo...but not today. Let's nurse you back to health and get you some ice for That eye.

Live, Love, Snooki TV

No comments: