Tuesday, November 24, 2009

You can be My Skeet Dream, or my Lewd Little Nightmare

People have been saying that this blog only deals with mysogonistic sex rants and militant racial identity theories. Eh....Maybe they're right...maybe not.


This being said, I'm gonna talk about skeet, things that make me wanna skeet and the wierdest places to serve that white hot man chowder (pause) sanz spoon.





One thing I like to do via this blog (other than talk crazy) is inform people of new and exciting things which I've somehow come across during my daily routine of being awesome and bullshitting online. Case in point, the Philadelphia Passion Football team. Yes thats right my niggas, there is a FULL CONTACT LINGERE FOOTBALL LEAGUE !!! Things that make me wanna skeet: 1. Things that don't: 0. I'm keeping a running tally.
















These are actual pics from actual games. Needless to say,we are taking a Nappyheadedbros trip to watch them play in trenton in two weeks. Wanna get down? Holla at the Bros.




Now, onto a more Alternative Lifestyle skeet. Pause. Lately I've been seing these new Fruit of the Loom "Fit for Me" ads and If I may say so myself, they're sexy. No Pervert. Lol.





Maybe it's because I prefer thick women, or maybe its just because I like to see ads featuring women who look like REAL WOMEN aka the type of bi*ches I am liable to end up with after a night of nightclub tomfoolery!! Whatever the case, this brings the "things that make me wanna skeet" tally up to 2. Good Job Fruit of the loom. This, by the way, does not mean you large ladies should stop shopping at Vicky's secret. Mix and Match...mix and match. If you're as big as Monique or Roseanne Barr, however, stay your big ass outa Victorias secret and Fredericks of Hollywood. True story.




In keeping with this random theme of skeet, Maino, Shanga and I (no homo) were having a convo about the most common and random places we've skeeten (as that a word? ) LOL.


Showracka Present's: Skeet Superlatives ( you all had a HS Yearbook)

Common:

Breasts, Mouth, Vag, Hair, Tissue, Sock, inside someone elses girlfriend, the ocean.

Common yet often forgotten of conviently left out of discussion:

On the pages of a magazine, In a stuffed Animal (when you were first learning how to rub one out), in ones boxers (yall remember "pants rubbing or dry humping"), in the sink, Girlfriends Bra.

Places that seem like common skeet targets but which actually arent:


From the window to the wall. That is all.



Most Gangsta Places (verified as true):


Hood of a BMW, in Times Square, In car with relative driving, bushes behind someone elses Frat House.


Least Gangsta Places (Verified as true):


The Gym!!! (You know who you are you pervert!!! LOL), in Class (You know who you are, same pervert from # 1.)


Places You've tried to skeet but it didnt work out:




While driving. Come on son, we've all tried. If not a full fledged meat whip at least a little rub out, or inapprobraite prolongued touch. What? Its a long drive from CT to PA. LMAO.



I know at this point I know a lot of you are thinking "what the hell is the point of this post??!!" well, this time there's nothing cryptic about it. I just wanted to remind you all that skeet is an essential part of every man's life (pause) and is something which should not be taken lightly.

C4: The truly important thing about the sweet release of skeet is that it is one of the few things that both men and women truly enjoy. Women like to bust off in tubs of scented oils surrounded by lit candles, or simply by getting their hair pulled and ass smacked thereby allowing them to live out the "lady in the streets, freak in the bed" dichotomy, all while assuring themselves of their sexual desirability.

The problem is, its harder for women to pop one off, and they cannot easily do it in as many places. In the end, "tell em' why you mad ladies!!" It's because you can't skeet at will with the same Grace (TV pun intended) as your male counterparts. Smh.

Show: Similar to play- dough or Nickelodean goop, skeet can have many uses and manifest itself in many different places. To this i say, keep skeeting America and keep it interesting...do it for the red, the creamy off-white and the blue!! Also, ladies...don't sleep on the power of the chowder, or you too can be a victim of a skeet dream, or a lewd little nightmare (Beyonce voice. Pause.)


P.S.


Thing that makes me want to skeet # 3 = Nikki Minaj.





Live, Love, Posting about whatever I want....


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