Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Sensitive thugs, Yall all need hugs...Yep!!

Jay Z send it best when speaking of the hyper emotional emasculated segment of the pseudo-heterosexual population. "Sensitive Thugs, Yall all need hugs."






Awwww. My friends died at war. JK.


LOL. Jay Z may be a big lipped viejo verde approaching golden girl status and stealing the young tender Beyonce from her rightful generation of admirers, but the nigga has a point.



When the fuck did Gangstas start beefing on the Internet, having cat fights on twitter and thinking it was OK to cry in public. It's not OK. Unless you are at a funeral or arraignment (and at an arraignment its still kinda bitch made, unless you're getting life.)


Awww, Ill never see the light of day again...



Fuck thugs tho. Let's talk about the relationship rhetoric readily recited by the senselessly sensitive sorry saps and seriously shameful segments of suckers. That's right folks...and by folks i mean fellas. YOU'RE GIRL'S BEEN COMPLAINING ON FACEBOOK!!! Stop getting your eyebrows done and talking about your feelings. Disclaimer: If the girl complaining is not your girl, you are the worst type of sucker for love.

Awwww. I am not the Father!!! (Maury Voice)



Quit handcuffin that broad and gettin hurt when she's out with another dude....Awwwww. Pobrecito. You want a thug hug. Slap-Grip-Pat to you too...bitch.



Showrocka Presents...Sensitive Thugs, Yall all Need Hugs



Where my single ladies at??? Yep. At home lonely. LOL.

Nevertheless, I digress....


If I had a dollar for every girl I saw get upset at a dude's "feelings getting hurt" I'd be making it rain somewhere. After all the double standards men have gotten away with for years, women are finally starting to gain a little ground and then...BAM!! Here comes the sensitive thug coalition aka the Lady Goo-Goo Ga-gas. Fuckin babies. Are your feelings hurt because you aren't her main butterscotch pooh bear, boo piece? Go call the wam-bulance. "We're not trying to hear that see" (Positive K voice.)



When, then, is it OK for a dude to catch feelings? The answer is simple...when it's your girlfriend or baby mama and you have a history. Also if it's your wife. Casual jumpoff? Fling? Affair? BFF? Cutty Buddy? Friend with Benefits? No, No, No, no, no (Destiny's Child Voice...Pause.) You have to put yourself in her shoes...no , wait...that's gay. F**k her and her shoes. Just man up and stop acting like Miss J Alexander...Either that or go have a teary eyed pow-wow session with the game.

Awwwww. West Side. Pause. (I'm Crying Gangsta tears.....La-La-La)




Now here come a few examples so that fellas can laugh at other fellas bitch ass tendencies only to be later embarrassed when their own tendencies show up later on the list.



10. The "I texted you and you didn't respond" nigga. (Text-ed is not a word.)




9. The "Who's number is this in your phone" dude.




8. The "why does it still say single on your Facebook Status" guy.




7. The "I'll go out with you and your homegirls, they seem cool" guy.




6. The "Jazz cruise, Maxwell bumpin, Pinot drinking, yet under 30" dude. Sorry Peezy.




5. The "I love you after 3 weeks" dude.





4. The "When we get married..." dude you met last week.




3. The "Its Ok to Cry" dude. No I'm not a cheuvanist..well, yes I am, but fuck it. Crying's not OK.




2. The "please delete your facebook, blackplanet, migente, skype,myspace and adult friend finder profile" guy. LOL.



1. The "I feel like you don't make enough time for me (even though you're just casual hookups)" dude.




Yep. All you posers have been put on blast. Now you're gonna start sending me hate mail and teary eyed you-tube disses. To these individuals, the league of extraordinarily sensitive gentlemen I say Bring it on (no cheerleader). I ain't ascared of yall. Beeeeeeatches (Drake Voice..pause.)


Shorty Springer's Final Thought...



Women want men to be men. Let them do them, but stand around by their side and protect them. Dont stand in front of them blocking their shine or behind them riding their coat tails. If she's with you for the moment, enjoy it for what it is and don't trip. Just remember....there's plenty of girls you'd spend the night but not the rest of your life with. To her, you are the male version of that girl. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sucker.




Live, Love, Not being a Chump





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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"When, then, is it OK for a dude to catch feelings? The answer is simple...when it's your girlfriend or baby mama and you have a history. Also if it's your wife. Casual jumpoff? Fling? Affair? BFF? Cutty Buddy? Friend with Benefits? No, No, No, no, no (Destiny's Child Voice...Pause.) You have to put yourself in her shoes...no , wait...that's gay. F**k her and her shoes. Just man up and stop acting like Miss J Alexander...Either that or go have a teary eyed pow-wow session with the game."
I FRIGGIN LOVE IT!!!!

PS: also loving the COON-tastic