Monday, November 2, 2009

NHB: New York (Halloween Edition)

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-Happy Halloween!!! Belated, that is. For you see my Nappy-Headed ghouls, goblins, witches and wenches (now out of costume of course), the holiday extravaganza of Halloween in New York City is what we in the blog world call a natural resource. C4 the Blog Killah didn't even have to get into costume this year to bring y'all the latest and greatest tomfoolery of the season.

(Mainly because me and my dude were gonna be Kris Kross, but that fell through because we live in a world of coonery and buffoonery that hates on our abilities to satire old school coonery and buffoonery. Anybody seen the darker one from that duo in present-day? Time and alopecia have not been good to him.Apparently he's not ashamed to walk around looking like he's always got on his Halloween costume. But I digress)

So my Halloween experience begins with a subway advertisement for a haunted house in downtown Manhattan, which has been defiled in hilarious fashion. F Train East Broadway defilers, I salute you.
Just an average night at the ShowResidence!

But the real fun kicked off the night before Halloween, as I was leaving work and got on the 3 Train to come home, and found these creatively irreverant and ignorant assholes who just might be unscrupuloous enough to some day contribute to this very blog.
Counseling really got us through the rough times.

Yes. Your eyes don't deceive you. They are a Nazi Dom and a Jew Sub, to use BDSM terminology. The dude, who is clearly Jewish (or an unfortunate-looking Italian) has a ball gag around his neck and a mesh shirt with a little yellow badge in the shape of the Star of David that says "Jude" on it. She clearly has the Nazi arm band and hat. They agreed to this photo. It's so sinister and also well-thought out. But really the fact that he's Jewish is the ONLY thing that makes this remotely OK. And I love it. Heil, I mean, hats off to you guys.

But-but-but-but wait it get's worse!!!!

Within a couple of stops these two ditzy and scantily clad young ladies step on the bus .

Poison Ivy, left, and some sort of slutty angel

That's not what's funny. What's funny, other than the fact that I could clearly see the "angel's" pum-pum outline through her costume (wait, that's not funny, that's f***ing awesome! Look at that fatty, too! Why didn't I holler? I'm a douche.), was that the poison ivy chick started scolding the aforementioned couple for the moral indignity of their costume idea...while speaking bimbo of course.

Poision Ivy: Oh you guys are costume too! Wait, you're a Nazi...OH! I get it! Ooooooh, that's soooooooo bad! Ohmigawd, that's like, soooo wrong. That's so bad!

Jew Guy: It's a joke, really, don't worry about it.

Poison Ivy: But that's sooooooo bad though! Like, how did you even think of this costume idea?

Jew Guy: Like, how you think of any costume idea, I guess.

Poison Ivy: Yeah, but that's wrong!

This back and forth hilariously lasted for a few minutes, all the while the slutty angel is ironically chatting up a guy in a pope outfit with lipstick smeared on the side of his face. That's not wrong at all though.
Then the chicks are deciding how to take a pic on the train without falling down from the train movement, and this starts up....

Angel: Let's just take it sitting down

PI: Nooooo, then they'll see my rolls!

C4's Brain: I already got y'all on the iPhone from back side! hehehehehe

It's okay guys. They agreed to the first pic.

They finally got a pic on their own camera, and then their stop came, and slowly we had to sadly say goodbye to our ignant Halloween friends.

I'll leave y'all with a fully NHB-approved father-son combo costume from the following day. Simultaneously G'd up, and adorable.

C4 2 Ya Door, and I want my candy, bitches!!!!


Show said...

How do you position yourself amidst such tomfoolery? I love the hilarity of it all. Show sho no H checkin in from Vegas. Oww owww

Amir said...

The word "adorable" necessitates a "No Homo". Yes? I'm just sayin..