Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Fat girl syndrome (Vegas style)

As my final debaucherous days in Sin city come to a close, I, of course, am a much monetarily poorer yet wiser individual.
Overpriced bottles of liquor, table service and las Vegas pseudo prostitutes will lead you to believe that yes you too can live a celebrity lifestyle complete with big teta'd hotties!!

Your credit card bill, however, will soon bring your black ass back to reality.

Once this rude awakening hits, all of the model hot prostitutes are gone and you are once again left with the tried and true, always dependable fat girl.

Heres my public service announcement...sponsored by a dude in the best "hangover" Halloween costume ever.

Stay away from Chicks who have all their pics taken from the neck up.


There are three types of fat chicks, some of which are more acceptible than others. The 'I'm as big as mo'nique and proud that I'm so fat I sweat when I eat" heiffer is usually a confident and curvacious mound of copulatory fun... That is, until someone finds out you've been secretly using nap time to fill her chubby cubbie with a generous helping of "Man paste!"

The next type of fattie (no weed reference intended), is aware that her big ass shouldn't be prancing around in size 8 booty shorts, but is smart enough to realize the power of curvacious ass and tits. She's secure enough to show her body in a way that accentuates her goodies yet uses the cover of night to hide her fat girl flaws (I.e stretchmarks that make her look like she's part Siberian tiger...or like she got mauled by one! Lol.)

The last type of BBW is the only one I have an actual problem with. These are the fat bitches with A cups, proving they are nothing but skinny girls turned morbidly obese for lack of exercise and restraint! How fucking fat do you have to be to not want to show more than your neck?!! Newsflash, we can see your tripple quarter pounder with cheese chin. You can't hide a fat face pumpkin. I bet even if you converted to Islam and rocked the full facial veil and garb, we'd still be able to tell thar you are a overweight slob from looking at your fat eyes! You should use lye or diet soap to trim some of that whale shark exoskeleton you call a body. Oh I'm sorry, you aren't a pregnant walrus stuck in an old ghostbusters stay puff marshmellow man Halloween costume? My bad.

Please keep in mind that I am hungover, lazy, and on westcoast time as I attempt to get u this blog at your regularly expected hour. I am also shallow, empty inside and am in desperate need of some R&R. It is 4:45 am.

Live, love, las Vegas thuggin


-- Posted from my iPhone


MW said...

Wow, that's some abusive language! Have you been taking lessons from the Dom chick that C4 saw on the subway? You're one step away from tying up a fat girl and spitting on her as you rail her belly rolls.

Oh, wait, nevermind: I saw your xtube profile.

Blogness rocka said...

I'm on youporn and redt tube.... Not x tube. Lol

khaki said...

Not gon lie... I laughed. the end.