Monday, November 16, 2009

Charla "The Chimp Victim": Would You Hit It?

Oh, you wanted an intro? Here's an intro for that ass.

Oh!! Bet you didn't see that coming.

For any of you familiar with this thing called "News" (You know, the stuff that comes on in between Maury and 106 and Park ), you should be familiar with Charla Nash aka the chick (55 year old chick that is) who got fucked up by Travis the chimp. Pretty soon, however, you will know her as the billionaire with the fucked up face. Other acceptable names considered are "the elephant woman", "Miss Mashed Potato head" and "Dino the dinosaur face." Kidding. You have to be lighthearted in times like these.

Anyway, don't act all surprised, you know I'm the socially irresponsible one. Also, as a side note, I don't really have sympathy for these crazy Caucasian exotic pets. If you dress a Chimp like a thug and let him pop pills, he's gonna act like a pill popping thug. No weezy.

Now lets get to the important question, spawned by C4's Friday post about banging chicks with deformities....

Charla Nash: Would you hit it? Raw? JK about the Raw part.

Show: Yo son, did you see that chimp chick on Oprah (no homo).

Anonymous: Yea man. That chimp ripped her eyes out, bit off her hands, ripped off her lips. She's gotta eat through a small tube for now. She was talking about how sh cant wait to be able to eat real food and have a hot dog.

Show: Yea, she wants a hot dog alright.

Anonymous: She's probably got a fat ass.

Show: Yea, somebody will hit it.

Lets look at the pros. While I wouldn't call Nash moderately attractive, I can say shes not really ugly for a 55 year old woman. She's got all her teeth and therefore already has one up on most crackheads.

This being said, I bet out of the spectrum of nasty ni**as, about 7/10 would hit it pre chimp Attack. If it was dark, or you had a few drinks....fuck all that. If she just hopped on your lap and started riding you like Sea biscuit, you'd probably get harder than R-kelly at a Quinceanera and beat it up like Chris did Rihana, no drinks needed.

Now...Scenario #1. Post Chimp attack without money.

I still want to say that at this point, 4/10 niggas would hit it. Getting brains probably would not be on the agenda as that would gross even me out, but a nice hearty doggystyle smash is not out of the realm of possibility. I'm convinced the reason they aren't showing body shots of Nash is because she probably does have a Kim Kardisian-J-Lo Booty and they don't want niggas to smash it in her current state.

Rough Sex may fuck up her internal organs and feeding aparratuses. Ok, maybe that's a stretch, but fuck it. Why not let her enjoy one of the few pleasures she still has left. Errrrrybody needs love, or at the very least a nice carnal pounding from the magic stick. I'd turn the lights off, drink some chimp...i man Pimp Juice, and go ape on that shit. Pun intended.

For those of you thinking Show has finally lost his F'ing mind I say, "nah brotha....I lost my mind a long time ago." This post is merely a means of disputing C4's theory and proving that niggas aint shit. Think of how ugly some peoples baby mama's are!! Sheeeittt, the power of money even has Bball Superstar Dwane Wade banging Star Fucking Jones....ewww. I'd pick the chimp chick anyday.

I'm a firm believer of the mantra "If you hit it once, you'd hit it twice". Ni**as are nasty!!! I know people who've smashed chicks who gave them STD's a second time!!! Sheeeiiiit, at least the chimp girl aint burning!!!

If men are willing to take advantage of intoxicated girls, sleep with mentally challenged girls incapable of consent, molest little girls and even rape strangers, why shouldn't they try their hands at sleeping with deformed girls in desperate need of some vitamin D.

Lets start a movement to lower the crime rate!!! Men, sleep with anyone with a fat ass (unless she is young or retarded) !!! Lets start banging the deformed segment of the population which has gone untouched for so long. Maybe it'll be like fine wine....better with time. If it's not.....oh well, no harm no foul. We can just deny it...who's gonna believe them anyway, they're appendage stricken, limbless, troll faced leftovers anyway. LOL. JK.

Moral of the story is, someone's gonna be fucking Charla Nash and ladies, don't fool yourself into thinking that your man is above it. Dudes love ass, and the enticement of a billion dollar sugar mama can make anyone look like Selma Hayek.

Live, Love, Revealing the Truth



Carl said...

You ain't even right for this one fam. I feel like only dudes with disgusting fetishes would smash Charla, honestly. You gotta be into the real sick shit found in the dark corners of the internet, ya heard?

Anonymous said...

you were only trying to prove a point! I agree some lame ass dude will hit that! there is someone for everyone...