Wednesday, November 4, 2009

10 Reasons to re-evaluate your drinking habits

What’s up familia? The original plan for today was to talk shit about skinny chicks since I went so hard on fat girls yesterday. What? They said I was going to hard with the “no homo” stuff so I figured I’d switch back to misogyny mode. Don’t trip. You know I Lovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvve you ladies.

Anyways, as always happens in blog land, the plan has changed (sorry fat girls.) Today I came across these pictures of the most miraculously ugly collection of females since Xscape….don’t trip (Cali voice)…yall seen Tiny, and she’s still ugly. This being said, these pictures of women who’s vaginas only a drunk incestuous father could love, prompted me to think…

Have I ever been with a….or will I ever get with a….matter of fact, how much liquor would I have to drink to….or if I was really horny would I do one of these warm, flesh receptacles I’m passing off as women?

You be the judge all the while using it as a evaluating mechanism which will determine how bad your mistakes have been and whether or not you should quit drinking altogether.

10 Reasons to Evaluate your drinking Habits...

10.) We've all been here before.

9.) You shouldn't watch Shrek while Horny and drunk and then hook up. You just may forget what memories related to the movie and see the rest.

8.) The "every girl needs love" theory doesn't apply if she's in your family.

7.) Maybe it was cool on Halloween. It is no longer Halloween.

6.) Saving starving Africans is one thing, but banging a reverse ethiopian? Unacceptable.

5.) I don't know where the Wild Things Are, but I know they shouldnt be in your bedroom...unless you live under a bridge.

4.) What happens in Europe.....

3.) While in a foreign country with rampant prostitution, chapest does not always = best.

2.) Just because you liked the Nickelodean TV Show Doug as a child does not give you the right to live out your sick Childish fantasies.

1.) The same goes for Gonzo-Groucho Marx.

Live, Love, Returning from Vacation for 2 days only to leave again and chronicle tomfoolery.


Nick said...

I loved the show Doug growing up but in one fell swoop you changed that...thanks a lot

Anonymous said...

That was the nastiest set of humans I've seen in a while. Thank you for making me feel better about myself.

khaki said...

*shaking head fast* I cant... No! i wont believe that those are human. Please tell me Photoshop was responsible for them unfortunate looking people. Please.

MW said...

I cringed at most of these photos, and then I cringed at myself. Now I feel both incredibly attractive and horribly judgmental. So... thanks and fuck you?

P.S. This compilation of creatures is something of a modern-day bestiary. "Here be monsters"?

...And now I'm going to hell. I'll save you a place, Showrocka.