Friday, October 23, 2009

ATM Pin #s pt 2

Good morning Church girls, mothers, whores, morally loose skanks, Ninja Turtle Fans and Japanese skateboarder chicks. Be sure to check yesterday's Sarah Kruzan post updated with your own thoughts and opinions (at the end.)

Also, What up fellas? No homo.

For those of you unfamiliar (that's a word right?) with our Pin Numbers series, please check the following link to our previous post...u wont be disappointed.

Click Here


Just as a quick warm-up for you Mf'ers too lazy to click that link, Pin #'s works like this. Your area code + last digit of your phone number is your pin. Entries can either come from myself, C4 or anonymous blog readers. Yes, we know this is extremely fu*ked up...but that's why you love (or hate) it. Either way, you're reading right? Fuck off.................


Let the Games Begin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


# 2125 & 6311:

This one is pretty straightforward and tame.




It was spring weekend, I had been drinking Guinness spiked with 151 all day and I was whiteboy wasted. In a drunken stupor I went to #6311's room to hook up. Unfortunately for her, but fortunately for me, I accidentally went into the room across the hall and started hooking up with #2125. Actually, that could've gone completely wrong as another kid I know did the same thing in a college high rise and hopped in a random girls bed, thereby getting a sexual assault charge....oooooooh. That suck's guy. Guess it pays to know everybody...especially chicks.

#2038:

Men beat off into socks, this is fact. Black people like sneakers, this is another fact.



Now here comes the "pin # worthy" offense...

Upon my graduation from College, I had a variety of odd, coonish jobs. This could've been a result of my own returning to the hood and refusing to let the Ivy league get the best of me, or it could've just been my inner Flava Flav manifesting itself in a productive manner. That's right boys and girls, I used to make Gold and Diamond Grills as well as customize sneakers. LOL. Keeping this in mind, think of the process most (black) people go through to keep their sneakers fresh.

Step one: Stick a sock in the toe to prevent "creases" or wrinkles in the leather. Ironically this also helped smooth out the surface of the sneaker's toe, thereby making it easy to customize & paint. Only problem is...I couldn't find any socks except the one i had been blasting tapioca children into all week. No harm no foul right? Yes, no harm no foul...until i forgot to remove the sock from # 2038's fresh pair of Air Ones. I hope to God she just threw the sock out. LOL.



#7136

Just so you all know we are drunken assholes and not just drunken misogynists I offer a comedic, cautionary tale. When drunk, leave homemade blowtorches alone.



Everyone who knows the Sig Pi guys knows we party hard! Not only that, on the Upenn campus, we were known for our over the top theme parties (no homo), the biggest of which was called "Heaven and Hell." Picture this, 7 drink stations in a gigantic, dark basement, each signifying a deadly sin. Take all 7 shots and get your ticket stamped and you gain entrance to Heaven, our glass enclosed solarium filled with champagne, strawberries (no homo) and ice luges. Awesome huh? Yea. We know.

Back to the story......

So there I was, bar tending in hell (i believe I was at the 'Lust' Station) , when I decided things were getting boring. That being said, I made a makeshift blowtorch from a Zippo, alcohol and some hairspray and began popping out from behind a black curtain, spitting and spewing fire. unfortunately for #7136, he was on the other side of the curtain, opening it at the same time I was popping out. He woke up so wasted he had no ide how all the hair had gotten singed off his arm. Now he does. Ummmmm....sorry?



#5025

Normally I'm not the one to snitch but ummmm.......#5025 did it!!!! Yep. Irregardless of the fact that we all tried to stop him and then stood by and watched, #5025 is to blame. This story is so bad that I wont even mention the other involved parties except to say this:



Buddy, Pal....Brother of mine....remember that abortion you had to get but never told us about? Yea, that one. Well....it was #5025's fault. It started out when we sorta picked your lock looking for incriminating evidence, only to find condoms and anal lube (no homo). After realizing that there were no naked pics of your gf on your digital camera we were ready to leave... Thats when Mr. #5035 decided it'd be a good idea to poke holes in all your condoms....(waiting for backlash)....I've noticed you are no longer laughing.



Whoops. Guess I'm gonna be fighting two people at the next reunion. Shit, Don't shoot the messenger / bystander!! LOL.



Well, there you have it. You wanted that reckless Nappyheaded shit and you got it. Awwwwww, some people were offended?




Don't like it? Go eat the hearse driver's semen out of your mothers post-mortum asshole. Hahaha. Rememer those lines?


Live, Love, Numbers!!!!!!!!!!!


Show-Charles Dutton.

No comments: