Thursday, October 29, 2009

Jail, Rape and the Dentist.

First of, let me say go Phils!!!!!!

Secondly, As a black male, I can safely say there are a disproportionate number of us in jail simply because white people are scared of us. This is fact.

Actually, that's not true at all. There's a banana boat load of us in jail because we keep doing stupid shit and getting caught, despite the fact that we know we can't afford a good lawyer. Oh well, blame it on the pursuit of Bitches and jewelry...ahem...I mean the pursuit of happyness [sic].

All this being said, I know a lot of you are thinking "so the fuck what", "niggas are in jail..big deal.." I agree. If niggas get arrested all the time, whats the big deal about jail? I'll tell you what the big deal is (Malcolm X Conspiracy theory voice)...jail was designed by the same ingenious white people who figured out that the black population would "check" and self regulate (aka destroy) itself if given the catalysts of drugs and guns. I'll be damned if they didn't get that one right!!!!!

The same is true with jail. White people didn't put us there...they merely looked at our behaviors, created severe punishments for deviance (see cocaine laws vs. stricter Crack laws) and offered us a lifetime of isolated coon-dom as punishment. Ahhhhhhhhhh. LOL.

Think about it as I break it down like a hooptie on a road trip.

Jail , Rape... Dentists!!!

Sure people get raped in jail and even at the dentist (watch out for that laughing gas). Funny thing is, that statement is irrelevant, i just wanted to say it. Ahhhh the randomness of being a blogger...Nevertheless, I digress....

Think about it...Inmates started that whole rape culture, boo loving with men shit!!! The guards aren't raping people. The warden's not popping off in hot sweaty man booty. It's the gay ass prisoners claiming rape as a "power" shifting mechanism. This may be true, but it's still gay as the Flintstones theme song. Worse still, this fear of being RAPED by big ass dudes is what makes niggas want to not go to prison.

That's it, pretty much. Don't agree? Look at the following analysis of jail with the element of Rape removed.


No Bitches.


"Lights out time" aka guaranteed 8 hours sleep.

Free Food and Lodging

Plenty of alone time

Readily available Spades or Domino partners

Free workout facility

Laundry Service


You see where this is going right? Take out the element of rape, and niggas are more scared of the Dentist than Jail!!!! True Story!

Think about it...Correctional officers have nightsticks.....ooooh scary. The dentist has picks and drills and all that shit like Jigsaw from those Saw movies. He's the scary one. The constructors of the prison system, however, relied on the fact that niggas can't control their urges and would try to hump anything in the absence of pussy, as their main form of deterrence and security in prison ! Can't start riots if your busy running trains on the smallest niggas with the longest hair....uh oh Lil Weezy.

Conspiracy theory? Maybe...or Maybe not. Perhaps the powers that be knew exactly what they were doing when they created a hostile sexual environment. With all the money spent on correctional facilities, eliminating the element of rape could be done relatively easy...but why bother if its working? It actually kills 2 birds with one stone....occupies prisoners time and leads to the spread of more AIDS related deaths in the Black Community.

Fu*k what you heard, white people are smart.

Niggas, take heed to my warning and stop raping dudes in jail...actually, if you're in jail, you cant read this. Let me re-phrase...Hood niggas, tell your cousins, brothers and Uncles to stop raping people in jail and we can turn these "institutions" into rest havens or lodges free from annoying bitches bugging us during football season. That is the first We've just gotta go fuck up some dentists. No rainbow.

Live, Love, Keeping it 100.



MW said...

I didn't realize how pervasive "inmate-ism" was among urban Blacks until I took a quick trip to my local post office.

An elderly Black lady sidled up behind me, clutching her package [no homo] to be sent out; smile, nod, etc. Soon after she arrived, some be-burqa'd woman came up, made some female small talk with the elderly woman (a few "mmm, mmm, mmm"s were heard). And then finally, after grandma and the possibly Muslim robe-ghost came in a post-op number in her slutting clothes (with a highly visible Adam's apple), who was apparently sending a package to one of the state's prisons.

Black Grandma Moses comments about a grand-nephew or two in jail ("mmm, mmm, mmm"), and then Burqa chimes in from beneath her folds about how lucky she is to only have just one sibling behind bars.

What the flying fuck!? "Just one"? Three black women (or, two black women and one black ex-man) in a row, in the same post office, each commiserating about their incarcerated relatives. I couldn't believe the apparent absurdity (but ultimate grim reality) of it all.

In the end, state jails or root canals? If there's a third choice, I'll pick "getting my next ink chosen by Showrock" (dangerous and foolish as that choice may be!).

Rock said...

It's nice to se that even the tragically somber posts garner they attention they deserve and people see that while I am all fun and games (no homo?) there's always an underlying gem of wisdom to be heard. Well....maybe not always...but at least once a week.

That being said, Owww Owwwwww.

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