Friday, October 16, 2009

Chicken over Jews??? Really?

What if journalists had to submit their articles to an asshole editor whose thoughts and opinions of their work would appear the next day in print? Well niggas, nigettes, Peppericans and white folk...It would look like this.

For those of you who aren't familiar with Showrocka "the human being", I just want to let you know that I am an ass in real life, though I refuse to take myself or anyone else seriously. In addition to this, despite my penchant for blogging, i do HAVE A REAL JOB where I research businesses and a complete a hodgepoge of other tasks in the tax collecting world. I know you all don't give a fuck about this, but it's relevant, I swear...

The other day while researching Crown Fried Chicken, a local business, I came across the following article. En-fucking-joy.

Please note that all regular print comes from the acual article, and all bold print is on behalf of myself, Show-Sho no homo the Blog Monsta.

WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. _Canadian Press DataFile Thursday September/17/2009

Four ex-convicts accused of plotting to bomb synagogues and shoot down military planes apparently will claim they were lured into the conspiracy with gifts including cash and fried chicken.

Chicken!!! Well Damn (Gucci Mane Voice). Had to be Niggas. How you gonna bribe sombody to bomb innocent people with Chicken. I mean damn, getting us on the boat to America with promises of morally loose white women and watermellon was one thing, but this....this shit right here nigga (Jay voice) is ridiculous!!! I'm gonna hear them out though...This could be interesting.

Defense lawyers demanded Thursday in federal court that prosecutors turn over evidence of any payments, promises or other inducements offered by an informant who infiltrated the group.

The four men are accused of plotting to destroy two synagogues in the heavily Jewish Riverdale section of the Bronx and to shoot down planes at an Air National Guard base north of New York City.

And they wonder why the Jewish brethren don't think too highly of us. Eh...they killed Jesus, lets call it a wash.

Theodore Green, attorney for defendant David Williams, 28, mentioned the entrapment defense, which generally claims that a person was enticed to do something illegal that he would not otherwise have done.

Among the enticements the defence lawyers said they had already heard about were checks of up to $25,000, gifts to the men's families and "some kind of charge account" at a Crown fried chicken store in Newburgh, where the four men live.

Hahahahahahaha. I underlined that. I wish I had one of those, but the bribe game in a recession too? WTF (White girl voice).

"My client could go there and not pay," said lawyer Marilyn Reader, who is defending Laguerre Payen, 27.

No shit Retard, thats what a charge account is.

Susanne Brody, the lawyer for Onta Williams, 32, said that when viewing government surveillance video, there was hardly a scene "where you don't see eating going on." The informant paid for those meals, she asserted, and the defense wants documentation.

I've bought women 5 star meals and went home with no pus*y or scop bobble wop. These niggas are getting goons to bomb shit with missles for some Crown Fried?? See Anwar, I always told you there was crack in that chicken.

Prosecutor David Leibowitz said he had already turned over all recorded evidence of inducements, but Green said the defense also wants the government to share any knowledge, recorded or not, of other offers.

Leibowitz said he would inquire about "whether there was a Crown Chicken relationship."

HAHA. This entire case is centered around a Chicken debit card. Am I the only one rolling on the floor laughing right now? I mean sure, its sad that these coons almost let missles rain on them Jewish hoes like a stripper at a Bat Mitzva in a torrential downpour but all in all, this shit is hilarious.

Two of the defendants, Payen and James Cromitie, 55, had spent time at a mosque in Newburgh. Green said the defence had information that the informant had approached "one or more other mosques in the Hudson Valley trying to get membership lists."

Judge Colleen McMahon said the defense could file motions if it disagreed with the prosecution about what evidence has to be turned over. She scheduled another status conference for Dec. 4 and said jury selection would begin June 14.

Better not be any black folk on that jury. That'll cause a deadlock for sure...see white people don't understand the power of good chicken...we do.

Alicia McWilliams, David Williams' aunt, said the four men could not have organized a sophisticated plot without direction.

"They couldn't do a barbecue," she said.

©Copyright 2009 AMX. Published by OneSource Information Services, Inc., September 2009

Well then it's a good thing they had that charge account. Maybe if they had a wife (ahemmm..or aunt) that could cook a meal, all this could've been avoided. I mean shit, not even bums are being bribed to commit crimes with food. Point proven. There's something in that God darned chicken. I'm convinced.

I'm stickin with Popeyes.

Live, Love, Laugh



MW said...

A.K.A. Tay-Sachs vs. "The 'Itis"?

I never would have thought that free food could be a partial inducement to murder and mayhem, especially amongst most likely overfed, subintelligent, spoiled American thugs. These aren't Somalians near the point of belly-distended starvation, after all! I wonder if the primary motivator here was money or hatred, or the whole "column A & B" thing.

...What's next, a plot to destroy a federal building for a lifetime supply of grape soda and menthol cigarettes?

......And, Crown Fried? Come the fuck on! Really, if you plan to make that your primary subsistence, you're soon going to have a lot more problems than just a bunch of beanie-wearing Manischewitz-guzzlers trying to gouge you on ostentatious neck jewelry that you can't afford and that would certainly make you look like a watered-down version of Don King.

WTF, indeed. I'll insert a 2nd F in there, for emphasis. Sick sad world.

Anonymous said...

This is the FUNNIEST, I repeat, the FUNNIEST shit I have ever read! LeFleur

Show said...

Why the Soda gotta be grape son? And they technically never said the culprits were black. LOL. I know, I's implied.

MW said...

Oops. So they didn't say they were black! I guess I really need to learn to distrust the media (in this case, Showrocka(!), who supplied the racial information on his own whim).

As for the grape soda thing, it's a weird cultural stereotype that blacks like grape soda. Blame Aaron McGruder and The Boondocks for implanting that thought in my "nice li'l harmless cracker skull" (Uncle Ruckus voice).

Rock said...

F**k what you heard. they HAD to be black. And we do like grape...but along with it, Orange, Strawberry and Pineapple soda. Consider yourself enlightened. :)