Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Al Bundy and the Dope Game.

Peggy Bundy can get it.

There you have it, it’s been said. Peggy Bundy in all her alabaster skinned, milftastic red haired splendor damn sure gave me a woody like that stuttering woodpecker with turrets or the dude from Dru Hill…whoa..no homo. The dude in Dru Hill’s name is woody is all I was saying…bad analogy. Needless to say, all of this is irrelevant as this post isn’t about Peggy Bundy (whose fine ass is now on FX’s Sons of Anarchy), it’s about Al. Pause.

Now…onto the conspiracy theory.

Everyone who’s ever watched an episode of Married with Children knows that shoe salesman Al Bundy likes to re-live his glory days at Polk High and recant his story of “scoring 4 touchdowns in a single game.”

Do you remember high school? You know, that place where you still go on Friday afternoons to pick up girls…. Do you have fond memories of high school trips, classroom hi jinx and the culminating climax that is prom?

Just think of all the prep working getting you hair just right, and showing up in that crisp, freshly pressed suit or dress looking for that one person you tried to look “extra good” for. I know, I’m talking all hood…but that’s cause I’m talking to yall. LOL. Remember that moment, leaning your head on your boo piece honey bunny dip shawty’s shoulder as if the two of you were alone, frozen in time? This could quite possibly be one of the most surreal moments and lasting memories in your life…because you are a loser and will never do anything more important.

All Bundy ass Ni**a. Stop living in the past and go get some new memories…or a Job!!!!

Are you an Al Bundy? Reveling in past glory and talking about how you used to “get it poppin?” If so, you should probably go hang yourself with the lace from the women’s panties you should be wearing…bitch.

Yea I called you a bitch…but now I’m gonna get specific…all you ex-drug dealer Al Bundys out there need to give it up. We care about as much about what cars you used to drive, how many blocks you used to supply or how many bad bitches you had about as much as we care about Al bundy’s 4 touchdowns. He is now fat, and you are now most likely a security guard, warehouse shelver or facilities worker (if you are a female please substitute CNA or Nurses Aid.)

I feel bad making you feel bad…wait….no I don’t.

If your fondest memories were from high school or college what the f**k are you doing now? Oh, OK…I get it….you are living for your kids now and your main aspiration is for them to be happy, thereby making you happy. Cop out. You’re not even 30 yet…you know you still wanna be out making memories and having fun!!! Sure you love your 3 kids by 3 different dudes but you can still have a life and get your Peggy Bundy Milf freak on. Don’t give up now, and if you do….do it in silence. Crawl off into a corner and let you life die a silent, humble death. We are really tired of hearing how much fun you used to have or how great you used to be…nobody likes an AL Bundy

So shut the fuck up and go have an accidental overdose.

I’m just kidding like Jason…unless you gon’ do it.

I know the pics unnecessary, but its funny.

Live, Love, the Theory of it all...



Maino said...

living in the past is problematic because as you so wisely stated, it's the past and no one really cares about that nonsense anymore. But Al Bundy isn't doing so bad for himself (right now Al is married to Sofia Vergara on "Modern Family" who is definitely hotter than Peggy) so be careful who you compare people to. http://tvmedia.ign.com/tv/image/article/981/981342/ModernFamily_1241826007.jpg

Rock said...

P.S. Jason Kid's wife can get it. Get out the tub Little kids!!! and Jason. Also, less bubbles next time!!

MW said...

Peggy Bundy even got it when she played a cyclops.

Those people whose lives peaked in a booze-sloshed senior year of high school have a lot to learn about life. If it's all downhill from graduation, then you have a sad existence ahead.

I think my life and the lives of others of fratboy extraction [no homo] have not gone downhill, but rather simply down into the depths of debauchery. And going down is better than going downhill any day! ...Wait a sec.

I sin it to win it.