It seems I can't please everyone, but then again, I never really try. Posts are too long, posts are too short, too vulgar, too tame. Whatever. Just when I think I've gotten the whole blogging thing down, something goes awry. This being said, I'm just going to keep doing me and hopefully your friend who reads Nappyheadedbros for the first time will become hooked like a pre-natal crack baby, telling all her friends like a boy who's just lost his virginity...to a girl. LOl.
Case in point, "Screw Rosa Parks." You can tell her I said it, and you can tell your friends I'm being irresponsibly reckless. Uncle Tom I am not, but I just don't think she was that important.
Harriet Tubman was...but she wasn't.
What her act accomplished was undeniably important...but her? Nah. Just an old tired chick at the right place at the right time. What was she actually tired from? Does anyone know her occupation? She wasn't a slave right? (Kidding). We should have a holiday, however, for the police who didnt kill her black ass for pulling that stunt back in an era when white police had carte blanche to do so. I'm just saying. .. It may not be right, but that's how it was going down back then.
Now before people accuse me of being racist, an asshole, or just making inflammatory comments to rile people up, I would like to say this:
Screw Christopher "I 'discovered' an already inhabited America" Columbus and Neil "I wish I was as important as Lance" Armstrong too.
Christopher Columbus was smarter than most people in the late 1400's because he knew the Earth wasn't a flat surface from which you could fall off. Hello! Where the f**k were we going to fall to? Anyways, even with this being said, he was a moron. He thought he had made it from Andalusia (Spain) to India in 3 months by traveling in the opposite direction! The world is round, but not that round asshole. Anyway, this nig*a landed in the Bahamas and thought he found a new route to Indonesia. Case in point...he was in the right place at the right time, so he gets a holiday.
Who we should really be focused on are Columbus's boys (shipmates) who were out fornicating with and raping the Caribbean women in the Bahamas and brough Syphilis back to Europe (Do I smell a new post..."Columbus you're a Di*k but your friends are worse"?) LOL. Upon returning home while pissing razors, they joined various European armies and continued to spread their infected seeds all across the globe. Damn Spaniards!!! This is worst then the guy who created AIDS by sleeping with that monkey. Kidding.
Forget the fact that Vikings and British fishermen had already reached this part of the world. That's another story for another day.
Neil Armstrong is another case of "Rosa Parks Syndrome." This nig*a didn't really do anything other than take the ride and volunteer to be a guinea pig. Do we get rewarded for trying the new Mcflurry at Mcdonalds? No. Do we get a holiday for riding the Superman rollercoaster at Six Flags theme park? Absolutely not. Same thing.
We should be praising the engineers, rocket scientists and mechanics who somehow defied the laws of gravity and launched a giant hunk of metal into the stratosphere. Wait...no we shouldn't. We should cuss them to holy hell for wasting all of our tax dollars on frivolous bullshit. Nig*as are starving and we're spending money on interstellar moonwalks. The only moonwalk I respect is the King of Pop's. What have we ever gained from landing on the moon? Nada. No-thing, No-thing (bernie Mac voice.) Not to sound all disgruntled, but hey, I'm just speaking the truth.
Big up to Buzz Aldrin though, as he did something actually significant. First man to pee on the moon (true story.) Now thats how you mark U.S. Territory son!! Also, shout out to Pepsi Cola for trying to buy the moon as advertising space and turn it into a giant Pepsi Sign (also true.)
Last but not least, shout out to the government for veto-ing Pepsi's dumb ass idea.
Live, Love, Not Believing everything they told me in school.