I know most of you are thinking that the two of these word's don't go together like white people and washcloths or black people and good credit. Even worse, some of you are thinking "oh damn...he's finally ran outa Latina's to trick into believing he's a decent human being and is now about to marry a wh-ite (pronounced Haw-white) woman!!"
Settle down, settle down! All of you!! For you are all wrong. This post isnt about me getting hitched (no homo?), nor is it a tirade for or against inter-racial marriage. This sh*t right here nigga (Jay Z Voice)....is another cross-cultural educational experience for my old Michael Jackson colored and New Michael Jackson colored bredren.
Before I lose yall like they did to Anne Le, I'm gonna get to the point.
Why do you think it is that there are more black Baby mama's and daddy's as opposed to husbands and wives? I'll tell you why. It's because black people have figured this whole marriage thing out... Latinos and whites....you'll get it eventually.
Latino's (A Classic Case of marital haste)
No offense, but yall Peppericans always have to do everything early. We have Sweet 16's, you gotta have a Quinceanera...We get pregnant (no homo) at 16, yall gotta do it at 12. Again, my intent is not to offend...at least not today.
The point I'm making is that in a culture where absentee fatherism is not as prevalent as in the black community, (despite the fact that the Latin Machismo might have old boy Hector whippin you and mami's ass), Latinas are still forced to grow up early. Why is this, might you ask? Probably because of the emphasis on family which basically leads to teenagers raising their younger siblings like their own children, while mama's in the kitchen like Raekwon cooking up a Pernil and Papi's watchin Beisbol and hittin the Brugal Harder than Derek Jeter. Just a theory.
Maybe they want to get out that crowded house? Maybe they just see the possibility of a happy family of their own and want to emulate what their parents have? Maybe they just wanna feel loved? Maybe they want citizenship? Maybe its just their culture. Whatever the f**king reason, Puertoricans, Cubans, Colombians, Dominicans and Mexicans all marry too young... Says the man who isn't married at all. Don't worry, at least you guys have minds of your own....unlike your alabaster skinned counterparts. LOL. ;)
Whites ( A classic case of Peer Pressure )
Back in the days, when the laws actually supported white peoples beliefs that they were in fact superior to all other races, they were forced to uphold a certain facade. When it turns out they were off humpin around more than Bobby Brown on a Camel, they were often forced with the difficult decision of "what to do with their Sigourney Weaver looking babies?"
Can't kill em' since they're devout catholics, and cant admit to having children out of wedlock. Aint that a bitch!!! BTW, Black people, this does not mean its OK to have expense accounts or debit cards at planned parenthood or to be using the morning after pill every week like condoms. Keep fu*kin around...you're gonna end up with that non-magic Johnson AIDS. The kind that ACTUALLY makes you sick and die.
Anyways, I digress.
Even now, where bastard children aren't stigmatized as much, white culture says "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes little Anna-Jo in a baby carriage." Baby=marriage. For those of you without babies, the line of reasoning is a bit different...and by different, I mean more foolish. White people still do things like "marry for status" or "to unite two prominent families." Minorities marry for more practical reasons, i.e.) to get healthcare, to get tax breaks, to change their names and avoid debt collectors. lol.
Point of the story is, despite their "creating Woodstock and rebellious Rock N' Roll music", white people are really quite tame and are easily influenced by society, their parents and tradition. Unfortunately for them, all of these sources are saying: "Get married nigga!!" Why do you think it is that so many white people are unhappily married or on trial for killing their wives. Minorities might catch a domestic case, but marital Murder? I havent seen one of those since OJ....and he was innocent! OK, no he wasn't...but his wife was white!!! Loophole!!!
Blacks (A City upon a hill for we have the game figured out)
Now I'm the first to criticize my own people for saying "we're getting engaged" after they've been dating 20 + years. As I get older, however, I realize that sheeeeeiiit...these coons might be on to something. Think about it. When you love someone, you love someone. More importantly, when you can tolerate living with someone, you have figured out that you have found a suitable marriage partner. Why not get married then? I'll tell you why. Time. Time is your enemy.
Think about it. Forever is the longest conceivable amount of time. Whoever decided that marriage should be forever mustve been the same dumbass who decided we should work 5 days a week and have 2 off, rather than vice versa. Think about all the important things in life and how much time they take up.
1.) Church is 1-3 hours depending on your particular denomination.
is your marriage more important than your relationship with the Lord?
2.) A Presidential term is 4 years.
Is your marriage more important that Obama?
3.) Car Lease or financing agreement is usually around 5 years
Would you give away your New Lexus for your spouse (not vice versa)
4.)Even a Mortgage is 30 years at most (this is a bit of an outlier though, created mainly because niggas are broke).
There you have it. We black folk have learned something the animal kingdom has known for years...forever is a long time! Now I'm not suggesting you go mount a new woman, kill all her babies and procreate anew...like Lions, but I am suggesting that you view marriage as a fixed union for a fixed amount of time. While 4 years would be optimal, to keep sex fresh and keep from annoying the shit out of each other, it doenst really seem to jive with societal permissibility.
Therefore I offer an alternative. Wait untill you're old enough that your libido has calmed down and you have essentially overcome your natural instinct to switch partners every 3 -4 years...If this doesnt work, fu*k it. Try to change societal opinion and tell niggas to stop "handcuffing their wives!!!" Three years and you're done!!! Give somebody else a chance to skeet in her. LOL.
Live, Love, The possibility of marrying my Pernil-bootied soul mate