Monday, September 14, 2009

Kanye's a Bitch.

Yep. I'm going Perez Hilton today just cause bitc*es like Pop Culture. Sorry fellas. In football news, Mcnabb broke his rib and Drew Brees somehow managed to get more TD's than Bank north. LOL. Did I gain some masculinity points back?? If not, f**k you. Your mother's a whore and vile street urchin (Huey from Boondocks Voice.) Back to Pop Culture and Kanye west.

Kanye: Hello Beautiful white woman. I want to Hop inside your skin and be you. What? Why is that s strange? Oprah did it.


Someone left me a sympathy comment the other day that said they were just showing love because "it's hard out there for a blogger." Damn. I must really seem hard up.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the gesture, but I think I'm going to focus less on the daily amount of hits I'm getting and more on just having fun. This is the last I will speak of the "lack of comments" subject. I will now only speak of conspiracy theories, DD Cups, racial harmony and gangsta sh*t. LOL.

Ok, you ready? On your mark....Get set....Gooooooooooooo, say something truthful!!!

Kanye West is a Bitch.
A Bitch with a mullet.

No slander or Libel intended. I honestly think this "man" was born with a uterus and fallopian tubes. As If it wasn't gay enough that he was at the Video Music Awards instead of drinking beer and watching football (like men do), he had the nerve to show up with a ridiculous haircut (which he stole from Gucci Mane) and which looked like a 12 year old circa 1986.

Add this to the leather version of "Pony Boy from the outsider's " outfit he was wearing while throwing his temper tantrum and I can honestly say we all should've been shaking our heads. I know I was this morning, and honestly believe that that white girl, whose speech he interrupted to say that beyonce really should've won the award should've decked him.

I looks as though this nigga went to the barbershop and said "yea son, gimmie the ringworm cut... Yea with extra zigzags and shit." Also, are those frilly puffed sleeves? BTW, Kool Mo DEE called and said he wants his glasses back chump.

Damn. I really planned on blogging about "handcuffin in the club" today, but now that I have gotten started on Mr. West, I just cant stop. No homo.

This being said, I'm not gonna be clever today. Just mean.

We can see your boobs through the not you Amber. Kanye! Hahaha. Money cant buy fitness chump. Beyonce views Kanye's C Cups with disgust and agrees.

This was Beyonce's reaction to Kanye "Defending her honor." That bi*ch looks spooked. Definitely not the look of someone who is glad that Kanye's making a fool of himself on behalf of her. The slave looking dude behind her doesn't look happy either.

Nevertheless, we all know Kanye is prone to this type of behavior, so why was he such an ass this particular night (And who'd he have to suck off to get on stage)?? See below for possible explanation.

Blame it on the A-a-a-a-a-alcohol!!!!! Or maybe he was suffering from heat stroke or internal combustion due to leather poisoning. Or someone slipped him a micky as punishment for wearing cargo jeans. You see the pocket. LOL. Side note, the things I would do to Amber Rose would have me in jail longer than Max B. She's so fine I'd drink her 3 week old bath water and give her a full pedicure and epidermal scrub with my mouth. Nevertheless, I digress....back to Mr. West.

First let me say this is why white people are scared of us erratic blacks. Secondly, I have a hunch that this is how the conversation went down.

Kanye: Don't let the ringworm puzzle Egyptian hieroglyphic gucci mane haircut fool you. Im from the south side of Chicago and this is a stick up!

White lady with award: Huh? I'm sorry Kanye. You can't win awards in the Best Female Video Category.

Kanye: Well, I need attention anyway! Can't you tell from my Ghetto power ranger outfit?

White lady: OK. You know we whites are on the cust of bringing the word Coon back into the American lexicon and you're not making a good case for yourself. When the war of the worlds begins, you're going to have to go back on "their side".

Kanye: It's aiight. They love me.

Showrock (via telekinesis): No we don't. We love amber rose. Also, you've lost your hood pass a long time ago via these types of acts. See below.

Kanye is flaming. Interesting. The photographer obviously understands the concept of Irony.

Kanye: I aint scared of you Fifty (Tweety Bird Voice)

Fif: Don't gotta be scared to die.

Kanye: Do I get a Kiss of death first?

Fif: Ugggggh. As if!!!!!

A few more Pics Just for good Measure...

I want to dedicate this post (No Homo) to my boy B-Mulah. He inspired me last night (pause) by saying: "The blog is funny. It's good...but the way to make it successful is to just piss off the right person. "

Guess I haven't been trying hard enough ;)

Live, Love, The Net



Carl said...

Kanye ha finally managed to embarass EVERYBODY! This is an epic feat! I'm not sure if any musical artist has ever accomplished so astoundingly dubious. Think about all the people who are appalled at him right now. Taylor Swift, Taylor Swift fans, country music fans, white people in general, Beyonce, Kanye West haters, Kanye West fans, Kanye West's industry friends, Kanye's industry foes, black people in general. Wooooooow. You're an asshole. Like, worse than the Nappy Headed Bros and their friends. Combined. Well maybe not combined, we're pretty bad. But hey, Ye wanna be the greatest, right? Well now guess who's the biggest gaping smelly semen-dripping asshole (pause) in music history? Who could it be but you, K?

Carl said...

Notice I didn't include Beyonce fans in there because I know some racist fat black chicks, loser dudes and gay guys are sitting at home going "you tell dat white bitch, Kanye!" and they should also be ashamed of themselves.

Nick said...

Show, maybe this is my being white and thinking South Park is f*cking hilarious but how could you make fun of Kanye and not include this.

Show said...

Maaaaaan. I almost included that Southpark sh*t too. LOL. We sent this Blog to the radio station. Lets see what kinda trouble we can stir up. Tucker Blax 2010!!!!

Amir said...

Don't let Kanye's general arrogance sway you from realizing the truth (however appalling). Now I can't remotely pretend that my video music game is as thorough as back in the Carson Daly TRL days (no homo), but my more knowledgeable video-viewing friends have informed me, that however crass, Kanye was speaking the truth.
And let's be real, Kanye made that award show. Anybody talking about Lady Gaga's outfits or Taylor Swift's tired ass Westside Story subway performance today?

MW said...

Kanye. What a self-aggrandizing fucking twat. How sad it is that he needs to reach down so low for publicity's sake.

Kanye West: you are a parody of the legitimately famous person you should be.

And, P.S., @ Carl: The gays are not really on Kanye's side. We called a referendum. We are ashamed he is even considered a gay fish.