A while back, my boy Sami at http://www.mylifesaflic.blogspot.com/ had a post entitled 'Free Country Pt. 1' where he proceeded to rant and rave about the fact that nothing is really free. Below is the link to the actual post in case you're interested in reading something funny and insightful not written by myself:
This being said, my gripe is not with people saying "this is a free country", as I believe it pretty much is. We don't get our hands cut off for stealing, don't get kidnapped for calling the president a Moron (bush) or Coon (Obama...JK), and we basically have free reign to do whatever we want. How else could groups like the KKK and Skinheads run rampant spewing hatred and other nonsense from their poor white trash mouths and still be constitutionally protected?
Ok enough social political analysis...lets get on to what's really the matter at hand.
I saw a nigga with a "Free Max B" shirt on the other day.
Really? A Free Max B Apron? This was actually for sale in someones Zazzle Store. SMH.
Now I've tolerated the "Free Tookie," "Free Pimp C" and "Free Shyne" shirts....but this is the last straw (well, this and the Free Gucci Mane T-shirts...He shot someone for Christ's sake!)
For those of you not in 'the know', Max B is and extremely corny but likable rapper who apprenticed under the Dipset and Jim Jones and popularized the term "Wavy" as in cool. Sidenote: I bump Max. B's music everyday and hence cannot be considered a hater, even though my sis had to slap the shit out of him for grabbing her butt in front of a club. Max is scheduled to be sentenced today for arranging and participating in an armed robbery and murder. He's facing 25 to life, despite previous accounts that he received 20 years. Yes... Million dollar record deal in hand he was still out schemin' and robbing people. SMH (Shakin my head.)
Now you see where I'm comming from.
The "Free mr. Miscellaneous Nigga" T-shirt movement should be reserved for political prisioners (i.e. Nelson Mandela), Freedom Fighters (i.e Martin Luther King) and or the unjustly accused and incarcerated. Why the F**k should we free people who committed crimes....and dumb ones at that?? I think the problem is that people jump on this wave (Max B voice) in order to make their hood heroes seem as legitimate as the Che Guevarra's of the world who white boys wear on T-shirts. Che Guevarra, by the way, was a switch siding bitch who only "fought for liberation" because they wouldnt allow him in the army because of his asthma. This, however, is a different story for a different day.
Instead of boring you to death with my rant against coon-ness and stupid "free guilty miscellaneous nigga" T-shirts, I'm gonna have a little fun. Fine....you want Max B. freed? You want to free shyne? Tookie Williams? Go ahead.....just remember. You asked for it.
Showrocka Present's: Free Max B. and other Miscellaneous guilty people
Warden: Mr. B, you are free to go. You're ride, Mr. French Montana has just arrived to sign you out.
Max: Wavvvy. Let's get this Coke wave poppin again.
Warden: Excuse me, what did you say?
Max: Oh, nah. It's an expression sir. An urban vernacular phrase used to describe the "rebirth of cool" type movement started by myself and Mr. french Macaroni with the cheese.
Warden: Ummmmmmm. Ok. Wierdo. It's OK, you'll be back.
Max: Owww Owwwwwwww.
Warden: Did he just make a pass at me?
Anyways....Now that Max Bigavel is freed, we have to prevent the various lawsuits against unconstitutional behavior and preferential treatment via freeing other people whom we like, or to whom we have a good reason to grant pardons.
Senator: I understand there's important business at hand.
Constituents: Yes sir, there is. Every man in the world, except the gays, likes pus*y. Therefore, how can we justify locking up prostitutes. Free the Hookers!
Senator: Excellent point. Anyone opposed? Ok. Free STD's for everyone.
Constituents: What about other vice crimes like drugs and gambling? No one is making you put that glass di*k to your mouth and smoke it or put those dice in your hand to roll craps.
Senator: True, true. OK, Pardon granted.
Constituents: And Mike Vick? All he did was fight dogs.
Senator: He's already free.
Constituents: Well, he's done two years of unjust time. How can we repay him?
Senator: I think he's just assed out....OK, fine. We'll let him play for the Eagles...it will get him in the good graces of peta (representing birds) as well as associate him with the quintessential symbol of America. Session Adjourned. I need a Blue Moon.
Now that you see where I'm going with this, you can see how it will lead to a slippery slope...and that it is dumb. Saying its OK to do dumb shit just because you are famous and rich is like saying its OK to skeet in your hand and slap the shit out of random toddlers at an amusement park. It is like saying, go ahead make a you tube video of yourself giving Ecstasy to wild pigs and watching them have a wild mud orgy! It's like the park ranger letting Yogi steal picini baskets in exchange for head...aka that scop bobble Wop (Shouts to errrrybody in DC and VA). Point is, it'd be ridiculous and stupid.
Not to sound all Jerry springer Final Though-ish, but it is true that people need to man up, and face the consequences of their actions. Sure some people get off too easy and it may seem related to their race or status (cough, cough...Lindsay Lohan), but in their defense, the Brittney Spears of the world aren't out moving Kilos of coke( John Forte) , shooting people (C-Murder, Beanie Siegel, Cassidy, Shyne, Gucci Mane) or engaging in armed robberies (Bump J, Max B). Commit a high profile crime like this and yo ass will be STATE PROPERTY (no pun intended.) Drive drunk or get caught with drugs, however, and your chances of flying under the radar grow exponentially with your star power and bank account muscle.
Those are the ways of the world, love em or hate em... and by the way....We will not be Freeing Max-B today. Go to jail. Do not pass go....and slap the nigga in the Free Max B shirt on the way there.
End Note: For those unfamiliar with Max and French, check the following dope links. They will also help put the post in context. Oww Owwwwww.
Audio (Max B): We Sippin Grand Cru http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/audio/id.5766/title.max-b-f-frenchy-we-sippin-grand-chu
Audio (French Montana): http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/audio/id.8630/title.french-montana-f-akon-married-to-these-streets
Fans of Max (LOL) can continue to write him at:
Charly Wingate #74746
Bergen County Jail
160 South River Street.
Hackensack, NJ 076018
Live, Love, Givin the people what they want!