Tuesday, September 15, 2009

6 Degree's of Asshole-dom: Kanye's a bitch Pt. 2

Apparently yesterday's post went a little better than expected. My boy B-Mulah emailed the Blog over to Nancy Barrow over at Hot 93.7 and she thought it was hilarious. Cot Damn [sic] right I'm proud of that, I take pride in my work. Nevertheless, yesterday's post was sort of a cop out because I can call Kanye a bitch a hundred different ways in 5 different languages without breaking a sweat. Today I'm finna (southern word of the day) make some magic and drop an insightful gem of socio-political knowledge. Kanye, you're sorta off the hook...for now.

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Actually, no. You aren't.


What type of extreme asshole shit do you have to do to get the president to actually talk shit about you publicly? Apparently, stealing an award from a 17 year old white girl in front of EVERYBODY IN AMERICA will do it!!! Guess it's not one of those "how many licks does it take questions" (no homo) as we have a definitive answer. Jump on stage during someones acceptance speech and our gangsta prez will call you out. Extra asshole points are to be earned if you can do it in a woman's leather cropped blouse with shoulder-pads while standing next to the sexiest bitch to ever rock Fredro Starr's old haircut. Yes, Amber Rose is sexier than both the heifers from Zane, and I swore I saw Fredro with a Mo-Hawk. Smh.





Kudos Kanye for somehow making yourself more relevant than when you singlehandedly destroyed hiphop with 808's and heartbreak. I cant front though, that Heartless song was a banger. Nevertheless, I digress.



All these things being said, "let's play a Game...(Jigsaw Voice)." Lets decipher the not so obvious parties which also created this "kanye crisis" (LMAO at my using the word crisis) which has somehow become more important than the fact that President Obama's Health care speech was interrupted by another jackass. The name of this game is 6 Degrees of Asshole-dom and the rules are simple B. Look at all the enabling parties and see how guilty they are in allowing a grown man to act like a special needs 12 year old with a fifth of Henny and an unlimited supply of strippers who work for Chuck-E-Cheese Tokens.


Showrocka Presents: 6 Degrees of Asshole-dom (Kanye's a bitch Pt. 2.)


Amber Rose:

People blame her for Kanye's Degeneracy and prickish demeanour. Are these same people forgetting that this asshole did the same thing in 2007 when MTV picked the fat Brittney spears to perform over him. During a song he screamed "She hasnt had a hit record in years" and that he should've headlined the show. Also, during the same show, he didnt win a few awards and blamed it on being black. Come on man!!!! It's Hip Hop.


Well, White people thought she was fat, but she looked good to us. Can I get a Max B? Owww Owwwwww.


Moving right along.... What about 2006, when he rushed the stage at MTV Europe when he didnt win best video for Touch the Sky. Hmmmm. Let's see, he bum-rushed Brittney Spears, a 17 year old White girl and 2 Douche bag European dudes (Justice & Simian?) Sounds like 3 Consecutive bitch moves. He wouldn't do that to Jay of Gucci Mane. Maybe he is learning something from Amber Rose. How to be a bitch. No offense amber. You still gonna let me massage your head after work right? No homo.



I will go as far as to say its probably her fault they got so drunk because she seems a little more hood than Ye' and undoubtedly brought the Henny. Does this look like the face of a man who drinks henny very often?



MTV Security:

I swear they must've been off sipping henny or just enjoying the spectacle they helped create. There's no way that famous coons should be allowed to randomly hop on stage. If it was just Kanye I'd say "OK, maybe they thought he'd add some Star Power to the Show" but Lil' Mama? Yea. Letting her on stage was just letting us know they were fuckin with us.



You all saw when Jay nudged / dismissed her right and Alicia gave her the "Illlk . Aiyo bitch" face?



Kanye:

Yesterday's entire post was about Ye' so there's no need to rehash old news except to say that his outfit looked like a ghetto equestrian from "I'm -broke" back Mountain. Yes I know he's filthy rich. He still looked like a bartender at a gay club. Not that I know what they look like first hand. LOL.



Obama:

Now our President didn't even call Shaq a Jackass for showing up AT THE WHITE HOUSE UNANNOUNCED, yet somehow managed to say to ABC News that Kanye is a Jackass. Wow. Not only does our gangsta President watch MTV, he also has the balls to keep it 100. I was also a fan of when he told rappers that their reckless co-signing (i.e. calling Hillary a bitch in songs...cough, cough...Ludacris) was hurting his campaign rather than helping. Also, Note to Jay Z: Go Fuck Yourself for saying I'm a "small part of the Reason the President is Black." Get off your own Nuts Mr. Carter...and take Kanye, Kudi and Drake with you. Oldie Locks and the Three Queers. LMAO. Come on, that was funny. You know I don't hate on "the gays." LMAO. Another joke maaaan!!!! Damn. Yall too sensitive :)


ABC News Corespondents:

The Old hood saying "snitches get stitches" still rings true this day and age....or at least it should. Now when I say "snitching is intolerable", I don't mean that if you witness a child get kidnapped you shouldn't tell...be sensible here. The ABC News corespondents, however, had NO BUSINESS SNITCHING. Ultimate bitch move. How are you gonna snitch on the President and upload an off the record comment to twitter??? SMH. This twitter shit is gonna have some backlash. Mark my words. Case in point, the ABC news niggas are assholes.



Jay Leno:

It's kinda fu*ked up that more people care about Kanye being an Ass than the missing Yale Student Anne Lee they found chopped up inside a wall, but hey....that's life and it sucks. This being said, even being the most hated man in America, Kanye's ego allowed him to go on TV and...ummm...appologize. More like get some more TV time.

This, however, was not a big shock to the Bros. What was a shock was Leno's line of questioning. THIS NIGGA ASKED YE' "HOW DO YOU THINK YOUR DEAD MOTHER WOULD FEEL ABOUT YOUR ACTIONS?" WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not even mad at Leno, but Cot Damn!! That was a low blow. You my friend, are the biggest asshole of the month!!!

I guess Kanye finally got his. I guess that goes to show....leave those underage white girls alone.



Live, Love, Pop Culture?


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