Monday, August 17, 2009

Tweedle Dum & Tweedle Wayne

Normally I don't do this, but um...............let's keep the party going!

For those of you (and by "those" I mean everyone other than the about 30-40 people who showed up at various times), who weren't aware, this weekend was my lil cuz Dezo's Birthday party. Now normally I know people could give two shits about what I'm doing if it doesn't involves strippers and or midgets, but I feel the need to recap the apparent craziness that ensued. This was a NappyheadedBros sponsored event so you all know that some type of hogwash tomfoolery was bound to go down (pause). Here goes.

Shouts to an avid blog follower for the artwork above. I'm working on getting this somehow made into a Jesus piece. It's gonna be fiyyyyyahhh. Nevertheless, I always digress....

Party was supposed to start at 4:00 pm...notice I did not say 4:00 PM Sharp. This being said, Showrock (3rd person reference) arrives on supper Cp*t, almost Island time... making his grand entrance at 6:30. Yep 2 1/2 hours late. I'm usually punctual.

Sidenote: I am supposed to be supplying the drank. Good thing everyone else was on CP time as well and showed up around the same time as I. Oh wait...that's right. I arrived at 6:30 and forgot the cooler. LMAO. Delay drinks for 1 more hour. No one noticed though because a medley of reggeton was already blasting and I was able to distract people with this.

Yep, your boy arrived with a watermelon filled with chicken. What? I like to play on stereotypes. Ok maybe I went a bit too far, but for all the shit talking people were doing, the chicken was gone in less than an hour despite the abundance of other food. I rest my case.

Soooooooooooooo, distraction at an all time high, I slip out the back door (no homo) to go get the cooler and return about an hour later. Things are tame, people are f**king up the rice and beans and I'm trying not to get slapped for staring at tetas and culos...the GF was there along with her big sis, who was getting hit on more than a dude in a rainbow shirt at a Kanye concert. Funny thing is, with all this talk about drink, no one really went hard (pause) except for a few kids (who looked a little young) that were hangin at the bar like they were Yogi and it was raining pic-i-nic baskets at Jellystone Park! Did you really have to be eating watermelon though yogi? Really? point in letting perfectly good jungle juice go to waste. Plus I checked I.D.s. Someone, however, should've I.D'd DEZO. See below for explanation.

Blurry cameras, Baby gap wife beaters, Little people Big world sized Bottles of patron, excessive amounts of Nuvo, Jello Shots and banana Pudding DO NOT MIX! Hence the skinny dude double fisting nips. LMAO. Foolishness.

And by foolishness I mean Tweedle-Birdman and Tweedle-Wayne (aka Dez-Rocka and Showzo) singlehandedly (or can I say doublehandedly? LOL) drinking about 6 bottles of Nuvo. True Story. And this was before DEZO doing the crybaby on the deck and making love to a fence, others engaging in a stanky legg contest which (unfortunately) someone got on tape (I'm afraid to look at you tube) and two people who shall not be named, putting on a strip show. No comment.

All of this nonsense was only to be eclipsed by everyone leaving to go to the club, where apparently we were so drunk, we created a new dance trend of double dutching in the club. Yep. Straight like that. Oh don't act like you never double-dutched with the cable wire or phone cord (or saw your sister do it). Oh wait , you haven't? Excuse me for assuming you had a smidget of hoodness inside you. sheeeeesh. Anyways, it was hott! That hop-scotch shit though? I can't support or co-sign that. Sorry DEZO, you are on your own with that one.

Tomorrow we will be back to our regularly thought provoking program but I just wanted to let yall know how we party so you don't miss the next one. The raffle never went down, as we drank all the prizes, but in all honesty the bottle for "sexiest dressed female" would've went to Illy who came dead correct (as always) with some moonlight sparkle dress shit on...Ironically, a big sexy girl in a whole lot of yellow fabric was also doing her thing despite her resemblance to the sun...or a portly version of big bird. Chicks was like day and night and I wouldn't mind being somewhere in the afternoon....aka "In Between." Hahahahah. I'm not hating, mellow yellow could "get it." Just know I drank the prize bottles in your honor and was thinkin about both yall the whole time!! LOL.

Live, Love, My Family


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

where was the old pic from?
the one of you in the blue jeans and the gun? With the pants lookin like they tryin to pull the trigger for you!! -DJ Alpha Via G-Chat