Friday, August 14, 2009

The Rebirth of Coon: Chicken & Watermelon

Completely out of place, but fu*k it! My Dog (no Pun Intended) Mike Vick just got signed to the greatest team in Football History without a Superbowl win. GO EAGLES and GO MIKE VICK!!!! Yeaaaa Boii. (Pops from Wayans Bros. Voice.)

Despite the fact that I am in the midst of writing three separate posts on everything ranging from Chickenheads to the word "Thick", I felt the need to start today off with a bang...a big, niggerish coon-bang! LOL. Yes ladies and gentleman, we are back to offending all members of the African Diaspora by recklessly throwing around the two words that no amount of reparations nor 40 acres and a pit bull can make less hurtfully appalling.

We are bringing these two superstar words back for one night only, and once tickets are sold out, they are sold out! For those of you who do not understand the implications or magnitude of this gesture I ask that you take my advice and bear witness to history in the making. These two words, the "Z" or "Q" of a Scrabble game, the "Maybach 62" of automobiles, the "Kanye West /Elton John" of Alternate lifestyle pop stars', are being brought back from the dusty depths of the antebellum south just so that good brotha Showrocka can prove a point. Again.

Nigga and Coon are back, this time with reinforcements. That's right Niggas and Coonettes, they brought their representative Mascots. Fried Chicken and Watermelon.

Showrocka Presents (A Post So Reckless I didn't tell C4 about it)...

The Rebirth of Coon: Chicken and Watermelon.

Contrary to popular belief, I'm not an egotistical asshole who says things for shock value or to rile people up. In all honesty, there is ALWAYS a method to my madness (except when talking about titties...I just like them.) This being said, I think I should let you know how the idea of a second coon post came about....
For those of you who aren't friends with me on Facebook (you should be), you may have missed myself and Lefleur going at it yesterday (pause) via facebook statuses. Sure it sounds uninteresting and juvenile, but it was funny as I usually am. Check the excerpt:

Lefleur: What's wrong with you? Think I can't hate on this status too! Lmao. Fucking coon!

Rock-Show: Who you callin a coon, you burnt California Raisin in the Sun lookin porch Monkey. LOL.

Lefleur: I'm talking you, you skinny jean haitian reject.....coon!

Insert Obligatory Girlfriend Hating Below....

Maino: this whole c**n business is getting so absurd. i'm intrigued to see how far you all can take it. and i say "you all" b/c i'm obviously not allowed to say the word

Rock-Show (To Lefleur): Quit carelessly throwing around a word which carries the weight of 200 years of oppression you big, black pu**y. You smell like Coon-Tang!!!!!

Lefleur: How you gonna scold me for the C-word but its all over your blog and you've used it through out several of your status updates?! Hhhhmmmm

: Cuz you use it too "what up my coon?". Plus you listen to Gucci and refuse to believe that a man named after designer womens's bags is not a coon. yaaaaaaaaah.

Lefleur: Hold up! NIGGAH...(Side bar: I put the -ah on it), I only use it recklessly with you, to prove a point you raised on (subliminal promotion). Anyway, it was never acceptable to say the word, but you revived it to substitute for the n-word. I was just showing you how dumb of an idea it was. In fact, I don't even say raccoon. I call them rac's so I don't have to repeat it. Lmao

Rock-Show: I'm so anti-coon I turned down a vacation to Cancun cause it sounded like a nigga in aluminum!!!!

Needless to say, the Nigga-Coon epidemic is definitely a conversation starter...but f**k all that, lets get down to business as I bless you (pause) with a long, thought provoking post.
The idea behind dropping the N-word was based on too many people slutting her out and using her carelessly and callously.

Whereas the N-Word use to an be extremely hurtful expletive owned by the white man (just like us 200 years ago), it has since been stolen from them mutha f**kas like a car in hackensack New Jersey (what up Lakedimes and Magic.) Once we got a hold of it they didn't want it anymore until we made it so acceptable that it became common speech, and white folks couldn't refuse to believe their was a dictionary type, regular word that they weren't allowed to use! In essence, we f**ked up. Lets not let it happen again.

C4, I think your coon analysis was brilliant and if managed correctly we can steal yet another word. If we keep it from being popularized too much, we may not even have to share it with white folks. Kudos.

Now, I know some of ou are thinking, "what does this have to do with chicken and watermelon?" To you all, I simply say "relax and take notes..." (Biggie voice.) Just like C4 did with Coon, I'm taking back Chicken and Watermelon. Yep, I said it. And everyone who knows me knows I hate watermelon. I'm just taking it back to be greedy.

Watermelons became so associated with black culture in slavery times and the Jim Crow era, that they became referred to as Nigger Apples (True story.) How this association came to be is unbeknownst to me, but I'm sure pictures like this didn't help the stereotype.

Damn niglets... I take that back, it's not their fault. Blame it on the era. My bad buckwheat, Flava and Tyrone Hill. LOL.

Chicken, on the other a legitimate stereotype as we do like it and are the main customers of KFC, Popeyes, Churches, Kennedy Fried and Chick Fil-A. see , I shouted out everybody's region.

This being said, I'm using the true stereotype to piggyback on the hurtful one and thus steal them both back simultaneously. Check me out (Diddy voice)....Lets start liking Chicken and Watermelon at the same time!!! See below for Epicurean, gourmet style recipes to blow white peoples minds and leave em dumbfounded. Yep, we're gonna take revenge on racism in the kitchen.

Watermelon infused Chicken Saute

Watermelon BBQ Sauce

And that's just what it is. We just ethered the kitchen. I dare you to call us chicken and watermelon eating coons this time around. We're going to make everyone who ever affirmed that statement believe that yes, some niggas do like watermelon and chicken...and guess what...we cook it better than you (Pops from Friday voice).

I hear white people mumbling "man, I don't ever wanna eat watermelon or chicken anymore. Always takin shit from us. First basketball, then this!"


Live, Love, Funny sh*t

Showrock Show

Leave a comment with your email for the actual recipes....or Facebook me. Chuccccccch.

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