Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Ghetto Superstars

What up folk? Sorry, that was not a Gang reference but R.I.P to the lil homie Tyler and any other Vice Lords and GD's. I regret to inform you that I am taking it easy on my reckless slavery references as even I know when I may be pushing past the standards of common decency. Yea right. I'm just chillin a little bit because I dont want people to ACTUALLY think its OK to be calling each other coons and N-words (at least not in front of "da MAN". LOL.) This being said, I am substituting thinly veiled satirical references to slavery for good old fashioned hood shit.

Many of you are from the hood and don't even know what the f**k I'm talking about, simply because you are so deeply entrenched in the myriad of hood shit you call life, that you dont even realize you're doing hood shit! The rest of you...well, yall might not even be from the hood and STILL manage to do shit which is so past hood it may even be considered ghetto.

Enter today's ghetto Superstars: Kenny & Henny. Through no fault of their own (I'm assuming), these two ni**as...well, Dominican ni**as, were involved in a car accident. Thank god they are alright, because now I can chronicle the hilarity which did ensue. Now I am not saying anything about Dominica as a country (whooops, I mean Dominican Republic), but as a hood ni**a, I recognize hood sh*t when I see it. See below.

F**k the fact that ni**as are still chillin in club (Or beach) wear instead of hospital gowns, or that their boys are walkin round takin flicks at a hospital, LOOK AT THE NECK BRACE. Yezzir, that is some good, Ol' fashioned Dominican cardboard! I hope they at least gave my dude a shot of Brugal (with the net) to take the pain away...true story. I'm really laughing cause the only thing I can think of more hood would be going into a hospital in a black neighborhood and getting a neck brace made out of a Popeyes chicken bucket!! LMAO...Or going to a white neighborhood and having rednecks prop your head up with Miller High Life Cans. I'm sure all possibilities would be just as comfortable.

At least todays ghetto superstars took it in stride and handled the situation like some G's.

Owwww Owwwww. Shouts to mami in the back right. The NappyheadedBro sees all!

Also, Peep homie in the back cheesin' (smilin'.) I also don't know how dude managed to get completely fucked up, blood gushin like a vampire on her period, and still keep his uptowns crispier than lettuce at a salad bar! Now that is some hood shit...knowing how not to f**k up your air Force Ones. LOL.

My lil step brother used to stuff the toes with tissue paper to keep them from creasing. Funny thing is, he'd do that shit while still wearing the shoes! Nevertheless though, I digress. Here's the truly funny thing about our Blog Superstars...they knew just what to do when faced with the impending possibility of a hot ghetto mess...Take pictures and facebook them bitches!!!

Yes, you are looking at the hood's most hood wheelchair. It looks like 2 mountain bikes took advantage of and ran a train on a poor white picnic set. LOL. I guess this is the product of their biracial union, and just like any other low self esteemed white woman, Mrs. Chair-bike is at it again, holding up black men who cant stand on their own two feet. LOL. It's funny, you can laugh.

Actually, let me stop. Yall black women are just as bad sometimes so I refuse to pigeonhole an entire race...at least today I do. I should've said, "like a fat white woman..." LOL. Ok, Ok, I'll stop.

Needless to say, the aforementioned (haven't used that word in a while) events were indubitably hood. Kudos to the gentlemen involved for seeing the humor of the situation and for not being fat enough to crack that chair. The rest of yall, however, are not going to get off so easy for your own apparent hoodness.

Black, White, Messican or Pepperican, we all have a little bit of ghetto superstar in us (Shouts to Pras.....SIKE....R.I.P Ol' Dirty tho). Think that the terms "hood" and "ghetto" only apply to the blacks? Think again and look at the hood shit below.

Shouts to Shanga-Boy Tell'em for the pic, and Yes....it is extremely hood to have your baby girl at a stag. At least the nig*a wasnt being a dead beat dad. LOL. On to more hood sh*t!

Now I don't normally post videos, but in the tradition of keeping it 100 I cannot try to Lebron James the Clip. I admit, someone caught us on tape during a stanky legg dance off and during an old school kid and Play double dutch hop off. See man, yall should've came to the Dezo's Way party. Check the Vids.

Double Dutch Thuggin'

Stanky Legg Off


2 People make it rain with 1 Dollar...and by 2 People I mean Showrock & Dezo

And a little bit more hood shit..... Now check it. Even foreigners are mad hood. When I saw that 19 people got locked up for fighting birds I was like "Oh, ni**as don't wanna put COCK FIGHTING" on the front of the newspaper. Come to find out, these Brazilian coons were coming from as far as Rhode Island and NY to fight Canaries and finches! What are those shits mortal enemies or something? Whats next...fighting bunnies and hares? True story.

In the end I hope this post has taught you two things. 1.) You have to laugh at yourself or in the end the joke will really be on you...and 2.) Anybody can be hood, and unlike big mandingo penis's (PAUSE), it ain't just a black thaaaaaang. LMAO.

Be sure to let me know if I didn't have any brilliant one-liners today. Actually if you tell me, I'll tell you to go lick balls covered in goldbond while your girls mouth serves as daycare for my semi-viscous liquid children. LOL.

Live, Love, the G-H-E-T-T-O



a soul following Yahshua said...

skunt, talk to anwar before your life done. DO NOT POST ANOTHER POST. You Hear Me Nuh? Fucking Faggot.

a soul following Yahshua said...

Rastafari nuh ya brother, seen? Me will execute myself at the next UPENN reunion if you cross me again, and then all shall know. You curse cause you a ramp with that which you nah know. Fuck you and any rocka who hate JAY Z. Yeah, me talk to you loverocka, or whatever the fuck your name is.

a soul following Yahshua said...

Excuse I, that previous post should read I will EXECUTE YOU and the same fucking faggot who, anyway, me nah say no more.

aa said...
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Elliott said...
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