Saturday, August 29, 2009

Crazy Beautiful

I almost started this post by asking "have you ever done something even though you knew you had no business doing it?" I quickly thought better of it, as I'm sure everyone has done something and known it would lead to a cold oversized portion of regret soup. Fuck it, we all make mistakes... Funny thing is, many of us make the same mistakes over and over again. Ah well, no harm no foul. That is, unil u meet a craaaaaaazy bitch. All mysoginy aside, y'all bitches be buggin (obligatory ebonical interjection). LOL.

I can hear it now... Niggas gettin all hype getting ready to vent about their crazy ex girlfriends and baby mamas. Skerrrrrrt (Jamie Foxx reference), hand to the face. Hold up... Wait a minute ( DJ Kool 'let me clear my throat voice'). Y'all niggas ain't excused for marinating your loins in the vaginal ambrosia of crazy hoe juice. If you've been dealing with (aka dating) a crazy bitch long enough for her to know where u live.... Well, you should be more selective about your one night stands... You filthy Mcnasty!!! You probably ain't even use a rubber. Ewww. Personal question. Did you eat her butt? LOL.

All digressing aside, the moral of my progressive shit talking is as follows. Give a man a fish , he'll eat for a day...Give a crazy bitch a fish, she'll trade it for a razor, cut your balls off and floss her teeth with your nutsack hairs while masturbating over your festering corpse. Wait... That wasn't the moral at all...I've just been listening to too much Rob Zombie and Necro. Don't judge me. Moral is, give a crazy bitch a reason to act crazy and ITS YOUR FAULT!!!

That being said, shouts to all the crazy baby mamas out there! Shouts to all the crazy baby daddies..and most imporantly, shouts to the crazy girls with big titties!


Cause I'm crazy too... But not like shit in the bed and eat it crazy. LOL. I'm way too vulgar today. Eh... Fuck it.

Ok, you know it's Saturday and I'd rather be out Henny thuggin (aka getting more blog material), so I'm gonna leave you with some profound words of thug wisdom. Sike! Ima talk some more shit.

Most bitches hate me because a.) I constantly use the b word, b.) I highlight their insecurities and place a metaphorical blacklight on the semen covered catcher of penile projectiles they call 'faces', and c.) I let everybody know they're craaaaaaazy! (sidenote, if u aren't a bitch, you can't get mad at the fact I called them walking jizz rags. LOL)

All joking aside, many chickenheads can't handle this simple fact and immediately become defensive. Being crazy isn't a bad thing ( like not giving head or asking guys to buy you drinks) , but rather a natural fact of life. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. There is no small coincidence that this rhymes with penis... But this is a different story for a different day. What the planitary reference was getting at is the fact that men and women are different animals. Learning to navigate the seas of crazy bitch hormones is a difficult task, but hey.. If u don't do it, you don't get any!

Don't be maaaaaad. It's the truth. We love y'all, because after all.... You are crazy beautiful. Muah. No homo.

Live, love bitches (sorry for cussin )

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