While I'm sure plenty of funny, blog worthy things occurred over the weekend, I'd be lying if I said I remembered them...or could speak of them without ruining some people's lives. LOL. I do apologize for missing a post on Saturday, however, as I did not realize the site was having some technical difficulty. Who am I kidding, I was stone drunk and forgot. No seriously, I'm blaming blogger for my own ability to undergo simple maintenece while drunk. They have to make it easier.
This being said, I'm back in the kitchen cooking up some marvelous sh*t (Wu Tang reference) and in hanging with a few of my favorite people this weekend, I came up with the following question...Why is it that we 'social drinkers' are always being dealt the unfair hand in life? yes I've said it. We have never been allowed to take a 15 minute Heineken break, or take tequila shots in designated areas. More importantly, I have never heard anyone tell you how many cigarettes you can smoke before getting behind the wheel of a car. LOL. OK, that one was a bit of a stretch as we all know drinking and driving isn't that cool...despite the fact that they do put cup holders just within reach. This, however, is a different argument for a different day as today I will be using my powers for good and not evil.
Social drinking is like being black, while smoking is akin to being Caucasian. One carries a stigma, and the other does not. More importantly, one will get you pulled over, sent to jail and or beaten, while the other will just make you smell putrid and age quicker. Haha (you can laugh...it's funny.)I know this is a bit of a stretch but I tend to think of ridiculous things like this on occasion. Why is it frowned upon to even have a beer or glass of wine during a working lunch? Cigarettes have nicotine and other actual drugs in them making them theoretically just as dangerous. It's not like I'm comparing this activity to something like smoking weed which actually IS ILLEGAL(despite what black people and rappers tell you.) Cigarette smoking used to be accepted everywhere but is only now, in contemporary times, becoming a burden on its yellow toothed, whooping cough, phlem spewing followers. Sounds sexy huh? LOL. As you can see, I'm a bit biased, not because I hate smoking or smokers, but rather because I am a champion of equality. Pass the white girls and the Patron bi**hes!
Now that I got this off my chest like a popped Jesus piece, I would like to bring a few other inequalities to your attention, some justified, some not...
Fat Girls in Skinny Jeans: This is not fair as we skinny guys would have never been accepted into groups like the Fat Boys, nor can skinny women shop at Ashley Stewart or any other plus size store. I have two words for you: REVERSE DISCRIMINATION. Don't think I'm hating on you for being fat, even though I kinda am...
Ladies Night at the Club: Really? As if going out and having strange men pay for your drinks based on nothing more than 'your conversation' and a slight chance of having sex wasn't enough. You cheap hoes disgust me. Every night is ladies night or women wouldn't come the the club and Internet porn sales would skyrocket.
Celebrities and other rich people dating each other: I'm talking to you Jay Z. In the word's of DMX, "stop being greedy" and let the rest of us get a chance at marrying into some money. As if it wasn't bad enough that you married a girl about 15 years your junior,who just so happened to be as thick as Aunt Jemimah pancake syrup, you had to get an extremely talented and rich one!!! Yes I am hating, but so what. Hov doesn't read my blog yet...old bastard!
In the end I guess it just is what it is. Life is a b**tch and it's about as fair as a limbo competition with a flexible midget stripper. Yes, I am fully aware Today's post was kinda short. I'm sorry...I typed it on my iphone during my 15 minute cigarette break. LOL.
Stayed tuned to the Nappyheaded site as we have some funny sh*t in the next few days....
I'm out like a fat bi**h in dodgeball.
Live, Love, Equality