Sunday, July 19, 2009

The Okie Doke: The Tragedy of Fox Boogie

I don't even feel like blogging yo. True story.

I think I'm gonna start taking Sunday's as my Sabbath. Anyways, I'm here bi**ches and there's nothing you can do about it. Not to bore you to death with my daily routine (as my life when sober can sometimes be a bit of a bore) I figured I'd share this, as it is entertaining.


So I'm at the Cheesecake factory in W. Hartford yesterday and look at the menu, only to see the words "Chicken Little Sandwich." The other patrons dining with me could not understand my shock at this supposed menu 'mistake'. Sure the menu said "Chicken Littles" but me being so used to typing the double T and seeing it in only one context, could not get out of my mind the fact that it did not say chicken titties. Also, a bug fell out of my dreads the other day...I know, gross...It was just a ladybug and had fallen from a tree.


And now, onto the complexities of nightlife chronicled by the lone wolf, a frat boy without a frat left to navigate the trails of the urban jungle in search for gems of knowledge and bi**hes...


C4: Where'd you go last night?

Show-Sho No H: Foxy Brown Concert.

C4: LMAO. Bad?

Show-Sho No H: Terrible.

C4: Like Coolio Bad?

Show-Sho No H: Like eating your own semen and getting shanked with a rusty screwdriver while listening to Coolio bad.

C4: LOL.


Yes people, I admit it. I went to a Foxy Brown concert (only because it was free) and still want my money back. I am not upset about the fact that she packed on some pounds, went deaf and apparently can no longer rap, took forever to come out and performed a short set (her performing a short set was actually the only redeeming characteristic of the show.) What am am upset about is that I was set up for, and fell for the Okie Doke.

The Okie Doke (Pronounced Oak - E- Doak)

For those of you unfamiliar with the east coast urban vernacular, falling for the 'Okie doke' means you've been hoodwinked, bamboozled, led astray...someone has effectively defrauded you and pulled the wool over your eyes like Plies's ski mask. After last night, I am thoroughly convinced that Foxy Browns management knew she was too physically handicapped to actually rap (she was diagnosed as going deaf a few years ago, but "SUPPOSEDLY" had gotten that fixed.) Knowing she could not stay on beat nor rap her own songs, they brought her on stage at 1:45 am (The scheduled start date was 9:00 and the club closes at 2:00.) To make matters worse, at 2:00 am they pretended as though they wanted to keep rapping but that the police were kicking them off stage. Booooooooo you Ill Nana. Hellen Keller probably had better pu**y you deaf b***h.

Highlights:

Foxy managing to get booed her entire 15 minutes on stage.

Local man throwing a full cup of redstripe (I was standing next to him) at her and making it Rain Beer


Foxy's brother jumping off stage only to return quickly as he almost got f**ked up by a bunch of goons from 'The Island".


A drunk lady who looked like Kiesha Cole's mom shaking her butt on stage for no apparent reason until someone noticed she had just climbed up and asked her to get down.


A drunk Filipino woman getting cut off at the bar after Lil Weezy and T-Pains got money came on and she proceeded to throw the drink money in the air in front of the bartender. LMAO.

Lowlites

Showing up at 1:45am, stopping all the music during your intro because her hearing aid fell out, and then starting again.

Having her little brother sing her raps for her.

Ad-libbing her own songs so ridiculously off beat that it was obvious she couldn't hear them.
Everything else.


Oh well, Another place to show my face and more funny sh*t to talk about. As the New Haven Gatekeeper I say Foxy & Gavin you're passes have been revoked. We want Cormega. Boo, b**ch, Boo.



Live, Love, the Old Foxy. LOL



Show-Sho No H

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL I went to the show, if nothin else that shit was FUNNY AS HELL.. I died when that old bitch that look like keyshia's mom was on stage...

And that fat white kid that kept poppin up on the side of the stage throwin up gangsigns.. LMAO. fuck was that all about?

Anyway, sad to see foxy's hearing still affecting her performin.. but she did her best I think she could have done. I have to give her credit for that.

Show-Sho No Homo said...

Yea, It's sad to see an Ex Legend go out like that. I don't appreciate her comming out at 1:45am like its 1996 and she's the Hottest performer out!