Thursday, July 9, 2009

Dating a White Girl Will Get You Respect!!

In a strikingly paradoxical contrast to the real world where any black man with a blonde haired, blue eyed bombshell in tow will be looked down upon, chastised or brutally attacked, being in this same situation at a College Preparatory school will get you mad props...ahem...respect.

The funny thing about this is, if we black men were to follow this rule of thumb and embrace our secret desires for that sweet, white Milk of Magnesia on our own, we would not only lose respect from our Caucasian peers, but become the laughing stock of the entire school.

Why is this, you might ask? Because the typical black male, unaffected by the totality of Caucasian influence yet still trying to fit in, will choose a white girl to his liking. What this means is that the big ti**ed, onion bootied snow flake cutie you had your eye on all semester, a girl, might I add, who would get you mad respect in the hood, is viewed by her Caucasian brethren as a fat and disgusting monstrous land-beast. Now ain't that a b**ch!!!

Now when I say a big tit, plump rumped shawty I do not mean to say that she is a BBW (big, beautiful it), or even thick bordering on fat. I mean shawty looks like this.

You may recognize this woman (above) as Ms. Rocka or C4's DD Prototype from our breasts series.

And you may recognize her ( pun intended) as my future baby mama Kimmy K.

Oww Owwwwwwwwww.

Who the f**k can find fault with this!! Oh, yea that's right, white people...the same white people who think Michelle Obama is beautiful (because she is not pretty enough to be a threat to their having an affair with America's most desirable black homo). Take a look at the pic below I found at You should check it out cause there's a funny piece on how ghetto 'Lil Mama' is...LOL. I digress....

As I was saying...That's right bi**hes... I said it, yall Hoes(and women) , (African-American and Caucasian alike), became enamored with Obama's wife cause you think you're prettier than her! This is the same reason yall all hate J-Lo, Beyonce and Tyra Banks (forehead excluded.) This, however, is a different post for a different day...back to white women.

As it is the flat butt, size 2 B-cup prototype who is considered the creme de la creme (no pun intended) of white women it is no wonder Black guys simply don't fit in when it comes to the prep school dating scene. Will dating just any white girl get you respect? Nope. How about dating the flyest black girl on campus? Nope...not unless you are white and she act's whiter than you.

How then, is a black man to earn his respect in this cruel, paradoxical self sustained Prep school world? Play Basketball. That's it. That's all you can do...and now I will tell you why.

Why will dating a 'white' white girl will get you respect? Because she won't date you!!!

Misconception number one (held by black women and white men alike) is that all white women secretly like black men. WRONG! Womp, womp. Some even go so far as to think that they all secretly want 'thugs' in an effort to rebel against daddy.

While I have had my fair share of white woman saying ridiculous sh*t like "call me your little white slave b**ch" or "make me tell you how much I want that black c**k", I can safely say that this is usually not the case. White women want to be accepted just as much as we do, and in their circle of friends, dating black guys isn't always considered cool...unless he's mixed, has green eyes or looks like Drake (no homo.)

Misconception number two, held by white women and white men is that black men are attracted to so-called "ghetto" white women with timbs, cornrows and fake puertorican accents. WRONG! Double Whammy (Game show reference). Why the f**k would we want a white girl pretending to be black when we could just get a black girl? This premise is just plain foolish.

Misconception number three, held by nearly everyone, is that we are attracted to that which is different...the proverbial forbidden fruit. No ni**a, no!!!! We like white women just as much as black women just so long as they're pretty!

The difference lies in what features we prefer and have always preferred as a result of our environments and upbringing. Black people like curves because all the shorties at the bus stop, sucking on a lollipop had them...white boys who grew up in urban areas have this same tastes.

Those who did not, and were raised around coke-head skinny, X3 driving soccer moms are going to prefer A-cup Caucasians and bourgeoisie, Ethiopian- skinny black girls. No offense.

Misconception number four...I'm through with white girls.

HAHAHA. Yea f**king right. As long as J.C (our lord and savior) keeps cranking em' out with Double D's and throwing in that occasional wildcard Kim Kardasian booty, I WILL NOT DISCRIMINATE. Sorry Butter Pecan Ricans and Caramel Cuties. :(

Anyways...There you have it. Dating a white girl will get you respect in the white world, just so long as you aren't really attracted to her and your white peers are. Don't shoot the messenger and don't be mad cause I'm styyyyyyylin on you.

Milanos, Othello and Skunks

Mr. Mulatto

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Don't front, yall gurls know its da truth!!!