Wednesday, May 13, 2009

WJA3's System for Rating Hoes...Ahem...Women

ni**as and Ni**ettes?

It's your boy Showrocka P-diddy-ing the Blog as I'm not even going to post today. Nevertheless I'm just gonna ad-lib in the background and say things like "yea, yea" and "take that" playboy. I'm just kidding, I have an album to record and am taking a day off. Check out my boy WJA3 and I'll see you in a few. Bi**hes. Muah, no homo...

WJA3 Presents...

The Evolution of What WJA3 Finds Important in Women aka The Downfall of the WJA3 System for Rating Hoes...ahem... Women

Like most men when they are young and immature, I developed a rating system for women so I could "clearly define" which females were superior, should the comparison be needed. The system was originally established when I was around the age of 16, but it still needed a lot of work. After much debate and refining, by college I developed the following system:

Face – 50%
Breasts – 20%
Ass – 15%
Rest of Body (Stomach, Legs, Etc.) – 15%
Of course, in my debate with my counsel of homies, 2 issues always came up:

1. Should ass be rated equal or greater to breasts ?

2. What number should be considered average?

Some guys used ‘5’ as an average to describe women while some guys who were products of the American educational system preferred ‘7.5’.
Either way, the system above was definitely functional and at the very least a good conversation starter.

As I got older, grew a little more mature, and found myself in a long term relationship, I realized that women should be graded on more than their physical attributes (they still needed to be graded however), so the new and improved WJA3 System for Rating Hoes /Women was developed.

Face – 25%
Breasts – 10%
Ass – 7.5%
Rest of Body – 7.5%
Personality – 30%
Relationship History (aka Is She a Ho?) – 10%
Hygiene / Miscellaneous – 10%

After developing this new seemingly infallible system, I walked around with a sense of accomplishment as I had solved one of the issues that has plagued mankind since arraigned marriages and polygamy became extinct as common practices. Unfortunately, even this great system eventually was found to be flawed as a friend who shall remain nameless started dating a pretty and personable young lady who managed to get a passing grade despite being obese. I was devastated. The rating system was retired.

Now that I’m an adult male in my mid-20’s, I have grown to learn that rating systems are silly, impractical, and arguably misogynistic. Also, I have a full time job and really don’t have the same amount of time to ponder these things as my social time is quite limited. Also, I’m can’t be as picky as one can be when they are living on a campus full of young women. Thus, I have moved on from a complicated rating system to a simple checklist made up of 2 questions:

Is she sane?
Is she not ugly?

At the end of the day, these are the only two qualities that are deal breakers when it comes to women. Skin Complexion, Hair, Personal Beliefs, Past History, Etc. can all be worked around. If you deal with a ugly and/or insane female, you will end up hating yourself eventually. So shout out to all the sane, non ugly broads. You all get high ratings with me.

-WJA3 for President

1 comment:

MW said...

My visual aid. (A little offensive, but if you play in the mud expect to ruin your skinny chinos!) Feel free to print it and keep it in your wallet as a handy guide.

Love is supposedly a many splendored thing. According to my chart, the splendors are few and far between.