This is Not OK (Part 1) : A List
5. Faux Hawks or Bro Hawks in 2009.
Yes, it was a bold move when Diddy decided to rock the 'Bro-hawk' for the 2003 New York Marathon. 26.2 Miles later with over 2 Million dollars raised for charity, a new fad was born. Let me restate folks, this was in 2003. It is now 2009 and the fad has grown a mind of its own. Side note: Bro hawks are not to be confused with the trendy and sexy "hump" hairstyle rocked by latinas and black chicks. This being said, Zig Zag designs on the side, colored hawks, Cornrowed and dreaded Mohawks only serve to exacerbate this growing problem. People, while I normally rely on the Darwinian process of natural selection to weed out things like this, I believe that at this point in time, an A&E intervention is needed. Bro / Faux Hawks did not look cool with baggy jeans and timbs, and they definitely do not go well with this skinny jean fad. Let's be honest, no minority since Mr. T has been able to successfully pull this off (with the exception of Diddy.) Sorry C4, and Sorry Ron Artest.
R.I.P Bro-Hawks (2003-2009.)
Agggggh. Luckily this is starting to not be as prevalent, but there was a point in time that bi**hes were wearing these dollar store slippers to the club! There is no cushioning and cannot be comfortable, therefore should not be worn outside the house. As a matter of fact, these f***in things shouldn't even be worn to the beach. I'd actually prefer to look at F**ked up toes. Ladies, lets be serious. When your toe nail polish costs more than your 'shoes' you definitely should not be wearing them in or outside the house. Last time I checked, the ladies championing these slippers were not ninjas; they did not go to Ninja School, nor do they work in dojos. True story, lose the slippers. They look like hair nets with cardboard soles.
If you bought your sneakers from Crazyjordans.com, nike-sneakers.com, americaseller.com (Dez!), Kicksorder.com, buy-jordans.com or any site which sounds like this, they are f***in fake! Burberry, Gucci and Louis Vuitton never entered any deal with michael jordan to make a special line of designer shoes which cost less than keychains from their respective websites. Let me reiterate that there is nothing cool about wearing fake shoes. All vanity and pretentiousness aside, these shoes are poorly made, come in ridiculous colors, do not run true to size, and are not nearly as comfortable as the actual sneakers they are trying to immitate. Ladies, I know you are laughing right now but I must say that you guys are just as bad. Here's a bit of advice...If your Louie Bag did not come from Eluxury.com or LouisVuitton.com, it is fake. There are no Louie discounts, and there are no louie sales. Stop pretending to demonstrate status to other chickenheads who don't know any better. Anyone who could afford a real Louis Vuitton bag can spot the fake and you may even get your dumb ass stopped at customs. Also, a sidenote: I highly doubt the president licenced his likeness to be put on Air force ones. If you have Obama shoes, they're fake. Sucka.
This one is self-explanatory, but 'why, why, why!!!' I am sure people will think I am biased in saying that dreds are acceptable after your early thirties but braids are not. As a small caveat I will say that if you do have braids at 30 +, they better at least be past your neck. All in all, braids with thinning or receding hair is not a good look. I am complete aware that in the same way we as humans hate to recognize our own mortality that people refuse to accept the concept of aging. Think for a second and conjure up an image of a 50 year old non-Milf in daisy dukes or a mini skirt and halter top. Grossed out yet? You should be.
This is how we feel when we see your braids covering bald spots and hanging on for dear life. No offense.
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