Saturday, May 30, 2009

The Intelligent Atheist Theory

Seeing as how it is Sunday, the Lord's day(don't worry, I don't do Jesus jokes,) I find it quite appropriate to speak on something which I've been wanting to Blog about for a while...religion.

To those of you thinking 'who the F**k is Showrock to think he is qualified to speak on non-secular matters' I simply say, 'shut the f**k up. I took a few religious studies classes in college, one of which was entitled 'Black Jesus: The Life and Times of Tupac Shakur.' I swear to God that this is true, and that the class was not an elective. It was taught by Michael Eric Dyson (the dude always arguing with rappers about politics on BET) and was FOR CREDIT! So put that in your pontificating crack pipe and smoke it.

The Intelligent Atheist Theory

I want to start this off by saying I'm no Atheist, nor do I go to church (despite the fact that I should.) If anyone could use a little Jesus, Jah or Budah it would definitely be me, and as I grow older I believe my chances of making a return are increasing exponentially.

When I was Little, we had this picture in our house.

I prefer this one.

This being said, when I have kids, I am going to force them to go to church. Whether by hook, crook or good old fashioned African American Ass whoopin, those litte niglets and nigets will bring their black asses to church. I know a lot of you are wondering how a seemingly intelligent and tolerant person can make such a hypocritical statement, disallowing an element of choice in the religious decisions of my own progeny. Let me explain.

I want my kids to go to church...or synagogue, or kingdom hall, or the Mosque. I want them, however, to go for the right reasons. Before children reach the age of around 8 or 9, in my opinion, they do not have the ability to make this decision, as their avoidance of church stems around the more alluring desire to watch cartoons or play outside. I myself was forced to go to Church until I was about 12, an age I remember due to the death of Tupac Shakur and the release of the Air Jordan XII. What? Those were hood milestones, and plus I remember getting chastised for wearing the red and Black J's (Jordans) to church on Easter. After this fiasco, I never attended church regularly though I experimented with "teen night" at church with my older cousins whom I all but idolized (at the time.) As time passed, however, and I got older, I realized that I was beginning to question the very foundations of the belief system I was raised upon. Uh oh. This was to mark the beginning of myself, and society's children beginning a journey on the dangerous path of intelligent Atheism. The more educated you get, the more you begin to doubt the validity of the supernatural and or divine, opting for a more self-centered narcissistic self-made man approach. Insert Kardinal Official and Akon music, because this sh*t is dangerous...

Having just said that people should attend church (or any other religious institution) for the right reasons, it would be wrong to say that people should blindly follow false idols, historical precedent or papal directives without actually believing in what they are doing. In today's world of murders, rapes and Chickenheads, I can understand completely why one would want to escape this madness for hopes of a better afterlife. This is OK. If living this way will help to make someone a better man or woman, I am all for it, as you do truly believe in the power to which you worship. Yes, I am aware that religion is the opiate of the masses, and to that I say, get highhhhhhhh, go ahead and get f**Ked up. Cause it's Sunday, an you aint got sh* to do. LOL.

Taking religious studies classes and hanging around affluent assholes at a preparatory school, which actually had it's own chapel on campus, I opted to study rather than show pious worship, occasionally saying grace at the dinner table and praying in my room. No matter how far I strayed from the church though...I always stayed grounded. Even though Biblical references did not seem to jive with the wealth of information I was being fed about evolution, Darwinism and the big bang, I myself knew that their had to be something out there bigger than me. While I may have not agreed with the corrupt nature of many a religious institution (made more prevalent when my mother and I attended a myriad of 'Baptist' churches), or the supposed sexual misconduct of priests...yes F**king PRIESTS...I believed that these mere intermediaries could not interrupt ones own relationship with god, jevo, Jah the almighty.

As I got older, I learned that many others did not covet the sanctity of their own relationships as they were, as we say in the hood, 'feeling themselves too much.' Yes, my friends, their is a direct statistical correlation between formal education received and distance from formal religious institutions. Even to this day many of my Ivy League friends do not go to synagogue or Church. Is this a result of the intelligent man's rebellion against institutions they have sized up and determined to be corrupt, sacrilegious farces? Is this because success breeds contempt for anyone or thing which may claim credit for your success? These, my friends, are the true questions to ponder.

At the rate we are going, every college educated graduate or product of prep school may soon find themselves swimming (if they are white...) in the sea of atheism (or holding onto the side of the pool of atheism if they are Black). LOL. This is not to say that atheism is inherently a bad thing if done for the right reasons. What is bad, however, is that the corruptness of religious institutions are leading our youth to believe that they could facilitate daily worship better on their own. This, in essence, means that it is the church's own fault that children are turning away from GOD.

Children, don't get too excited just yet as yall little muthafu**as are not off the hook. Stop feeling yourselves. If you were smarter and more omnipotent than the almighty I'd hope you be intelligent enough to decipher the powerball Lotto numbers and collect your winnings on a Caribbean beach. Remember that books and academic knowledge have their place, but that in the end, they are sustained on the knowledge and lifeblood of mere mortal human beings, and in the words of the late great Notorious B.I.G..."Ni**as bleed just like us."

See you hoes in church.

Live, Love, La Fe


1 comment:

The Barefoot Bum said...

As Nietzsche noted, all religions exist to promote slave morality. Why is this something you want to force your children to confront?

I'm a parent myself, and I taught my children — as I myself was taught — compassion and concern for the well-being of others, without sacrificing their own well-being. It's the only rational basis for free people's morality, it's not that difficult to teach, and you don't need to invoke imaginary sky-fairies.

Maybe there is something "bigger than ourselves," maybe there's not, but either way: should we not study the issue and know the truth rather than uncritically pass on obviously fictional mythologies?