Saturday, May 2, 2009

Hoo-tahs

There’s something weird going on here, and seeing as it concerns titties, someone as astute as myself could not help but notice and comment. Hooters in the U.S.V.I imports girls from the states, as apparently, Island gals (Insert accent) do not like to work at Hooters. While this is most likely due to the built in gratuity system rather than the general attractiveness or desirability of these Roc city cuties, it is nevertheless strange to see ATL shawtys, EAST LA mexican cholas and a jawn from Little Rock (No she wasn’t a blood or crip and yes I said jawn) all in one locale. But as usual (And I know it’s not proper grammar to start a sentence with but), I digress...
Having dealt with women connected to various elements of the human trafficking cycle (Don’t ask) I could not help but notice the striking similarities. Needless to say, I am henceforth taking poetic license to refer to them as hooters hoes. sexy, sweaty, big tittied imported hoes. no offense (Side note: a man just passed us while asleep on a beach chair in the back of a pickup truck.)

In speaking of Hooters hoes, I think it’s important to share that I have heard (Over the course of the day, as we have already been twice) some of the worst pickup lines directed at them. Worst of the day: 'why are u wearing that engagement ring?' Any normal and intelligent person would assume that it was because she’s engaged. Jackass. Sorry, but that question is as smart as asking 'where do you keep your ice?' Worst than even this seemingly unintelligent blunder is that in the U.S.V.I people still holla at girls using the 'Psst' phrase and method. Fools. Women hate that.
Titties. I just typed that because I am drunk and like them. I digress (One of my favorite lines other than 'No Homo', 'That being said' and the usage of the word chickenhead. )

We are meeting the Hooters hoes later (They all live in one house...can we say brothel? nah, that'd be way too satisfying and simple). I’m just kidding; I have a few girls in the states I’m madly in love with and don’t want to get in too much trouble. Also, as a sidenote, I hate that Hooters makes their girls wear those leg warmers. Letting the white hot dulce de leche flow on leg warmers...not so hot. On actual Hooter girl's leg? Sign me up.

That being said (Lol), I want to conclude this by saying tonight will end by me tit f-ing some Hooters girl and making her uniform look like its covered in plaster of Paris. JK.Thats not cheating right? Lol

Live, love, seeing beautiful black women (even though I do my brujera with the
Santo Domingas).
Show.

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