With marriage rates declining, divorce rates skyrocketing and teenagers humping more than R-kelly at a Miley Cyrus after party, it is no surprise that I find myself blogging about baby mamas (albeit to mention their similarities to Americas favorite gaming console. )Yes America, I have taken it there and have no problem saying it. Baby mamas are like f**king playstaions.
Before I get into the complexities of this analogy and people begin to ask me exactly how many empty Guinness cans are on my desk as I write this Blog, I will point out a few obvious and simple similarities. While I know some people will be offended by my stating this, I can safely say that like Playstations, Baby mamas are good for playing games, and are usually black (as white baby mamas are often referred to as wives or fiancees). LOL. I figured I could get away with saying that since i strategically placed a white woman in the picture. Trust me, I'm not racist. LOL.
Now that the uncomfortable part, (aka the truth), is out of the way, I can focus on the more lighthearted similarities which I have noticed across the years dealing with other peoples baby mamas . Sidenote: I do not have one of my own...phew.
This being said, I'm sure those of us with and without kids can remember how excited we were when we got our first video game system (insert Baby Mama #1). In the beginning you wanted "it" all to yourself, but as time went by, you realized that it was time to share her/ it with the rest of the world. "Aint no fun if the homies can't have none" (insert Snoop Dogg Voice). Despite the fact that your youngest children seem to be infatuated with their "playstation" no matter how old and outdated it gets, you begin to find yourself wishing for an upgrade, waiting for the new version to come out and staring at those bright white Nintendo Wiis.
While the good old Playstaion is a good accompaniment for watching bootleg movies indoors and you often bring it on vacation to keep the kids busy, it's normally just a pain in the ass to bring out of the house. This being said, the beat-up, old playstation is left at home, often with your homies playing Madden, as no one in their right mind would dare to try and steal it. While you reminisce about the days she (aka "the playstation) had that brand new box, and think of the surprise that you displayed when you found she had a dual shock vibrator, you can now only think about your life stuck with this antiquated system, its bright red dot shining and serving as a harbinger of things to come...she's turned off, and there will be no playing tonight.
I regret being the messenger tasked with conveying such a sad and pitiful message as you realize that yes, it was not too long ago that you were free to play with your Nintendos, Segas and Neo Geo's, long before investing all of your time and energy buying playstation games. I cannot say that I do not sympathize with you in saying that you probably wish you had pressed the reset button early enough in the game, however, we all know that if you press the reset button too much, no one will play with you anymore.
I guess this post was a bit of a downer for those of you still stuck with Playstations and hoping for Nintendo Wiis, but if it offers any consolation, just remember that this one last thing...
plenty of suckers will buy a used playstation from Game stop just to get a deal, and in the event you still can't upgrade to that Wii or PS3, have no fear... there's always world of Warcraft.
Live, Love, Life. Death is Certain.